Driving in NJ...
Last Post 22 Mar 2016 10:55 PM by m1ashooter. 49 Replies.
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Old Guard2User is Offline
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Old Guard2

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20 May 2009 04:31 PM
    For you out of towners planning on visiting the Garden State for graduation, a few helpful tips.  I grew up there so I know this is pretty darn factual!

    How To Drive In Jersey ...

    Seriously, there are only two things needed to drive effectively in NJ: A horn and a middle finger. Everything else is superfluous, including knowing where you are going.

    For those of you who live in Jersey or have lived there, these things may come as no surprise. For those who haven't traveled there before,

    Beware, Be Prepared and Be Afraid.....Be Very Afraid.

    1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Nork - rhymes with Fork, not New-ark. Also, Trenton is not pronounced Tren-ton, it is Trent-in.

    2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

    3. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments, and right after church/Synagogue on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

    4. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Sissy." (Just ask the Governor of NJ)

    5. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules:
    - cars/trucks with the loudest muffler GO First  at a fourway stop;
    - the trucks with the biggest tires go second;
    (However, in Monmouth and Burlington counties, SUV-driving, cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.)

    6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cursed out, and possibly shot.

    7. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot

    8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey . Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next  day's driving a bit more exciting.

    9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the Homeless feeding on any of these items.

    10. MapQuest does NOT work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

    11. If someone actually has their turning signal ON (you know, the thingy that is there to show that you are about to go right or left) wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

    12. If you want to talk to a friend who is on the sidewalk or you are doing carpool and are stopping to pick up a three-year-old (or any age) and there is a place to safely park by the curb DO NOT consider it! You  are required to stop in the middle of the road, or in such a manner as to inconvenience other drivers who want to go by.

    13. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.


    SAFE DRIVING ! ! !  tongue shocked confused


    SN Robertson, Colin
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    weppropUser is Offline
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    20 May 2009 09:29 PM
    You forgot: "Always yield to a car with dented fenders. They got that way for a reason. Besides, if he doesn't care about his own car, why should he care about yours?"
    ChelleBelleUser is Offline
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    22 May 2009 06:47 PM
    And to add, I just read an article on the worst drivers by state and the top 5 are-

    New York
    New Jersey
    Hawaii
    California
    Georgia


    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    22 May 2009 06:57 PM
    They forgot Massachusettes and Virginia... those people are nuts!!!!


    SN Robertson, Colin
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    jkribellUser is Offline
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    22 May 2009 09:40 PM
    Yes that little news tidbit was on the front page of the paper here as we were the 3rd worse!!! Must have something to do with the fact that most of the people that live here have a hard time reading english!!??


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    JetblackSTRIFEUser is Offline
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    24 May 2009 04:38 AM
    I grew up in Northeast PA (scranton) and got to deal with not only NJ drivers, but NY drivers as well!!! Does that make me a pro at driving if I never got into an accident up there?


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    25 May 2009 06:42 AM
    Scranton!!! I love The Office!! Haha... There I go getting off topic again :)


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    25 May 2009 03:16 PM
    ChelleBelle said...
    Scranton!!! I love The Office!! Haha... There I go getting off topic again :)
    That is the same thing i thought last night...lol

    The first thing that came to me was when they drove off into the water because the GPS told them to turn right then...too funny!


    I want to finally set it free, So show me how to see what Your mercy sees, Help me now to give what You gave to me...Forgiveness, Forgiveness
    ChelleBelleUser is Offline
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    26 May 2009 12:48 AM
    Haha I loved that anti technology episode. It reminded me of my mom.


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    31 May 2009 07:11 PM
    Apparantly the people making that list haven't been to South Florida!!! Between the old people driving slow enough to be consitered debris.... Blinker? WTF is a blinker? And my favorite: The Florida Slide. Come to my work, sit down with me and watch cameras....ALL THE TIME people will miss their exits and shoot across 6 LANES OF TRAFFIC!!! Not empty roads, Traffic on I-95 in Miami-Dade and Broward County. Couple that with people from other countries (not racist, just stating) that have different driving rules/regs and how REDICULOUSLY easy it is to get a license here......we should be up there! haha


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    31 May 2009 08:43 PM
    Where do you think all the old foggies in South Florida came from? NY & NJ!

    When we lived in New Orleans we were convenced you had a choice... blinkers or air conditioning, they couldn't put both in the car so you had to choose one... of course everyone went with A/C!


    SN Robertson, Colin
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    Sector NY, Staten Island
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    02 Jun 2009 10:42 AM
    sure your not talking about mass drivers? haha being from maine all i hear is people talking about mass drivers.
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    13 Jun 2009 06:31 PM
    Florida traffic = Snowbirds alley.  It sucks.  Ive seen the florida slide personally on I 75...lol....this one guy missed his exit and just decided to make his own on the grassy median.


    SN Husband
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    sunny717User is Offline
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    08 Jul 2009 12:18 PM
    And by the way . . . We in New Joysey DO NOT YIELD to pedestrians.
    Only pedestrians walking their dogs.
    Plus do NOT SLOW DOWN in EZ pass lanes paying tolls, this will result in rear-end collisions.


    Coastie Dad&Mom and Sunny

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    08 Jul 2009 11:12 PM
    This is what i got to look forward to???? OH HELL
    sunny717User is Offline
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    20 Jul 2009 09:25 PM
    One other important thing I forgot . . .
    You need about a pint or more of blood plasma when you drive thru swampy areas of NJ.
    In case you break down with your car, the green heads and mosquitos will suck you dry.
    The mosquito is New Joyseys state bird.
    When changing lanes on major hyways, make sure you look in your rear view mirror real good. These organ donors fly by on their Japaneese bikes at twice the speed.
    JK


    Sunny
    macmacUser is Offline
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    21 Jul 2009 08:07 AM
    the best thing to remember when driving in Jersey is if you are a slow driver......STAY IN THE RIGHT LANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grrr
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    22 Jul 2009 05:44 PM
    OldGuard said...
    Seriously, there are only two things needed to drive effectively in NJ: A horn and a middle finger.

    7. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot
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    27 Dec 2009 06:08 AM
    I do want to say that I loved the people in New Jersey. Seriously. I loved their personalities. At least the ones I spoke to or came across. They were very direct, very honest, straight-to-the-point, no bullcrap........but they were nice, friendly, mannerly. Yes, mannerly. A lot of people from back East that I spoke with, couldn't believe I met mannerly people in New Jersey (and that includes our family which lives in Connecticut and New York). I loved the guys at the toll booths.
    There was one that I saw going there and then again leaving there. He smiled and said "hey pumpkin patch, how ya doin?". I really did enjoy the people there.





    Debbie
    "Ian56's mom"
    "My sons are the loves of my life"




    Debbie
    "Ian56's mom"
    "My sons are the loves of my life"
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    04 Jan 2010 11:40 PM
    I could never understand the horrible driving when I lived in Florida until I went to NY and NJ. Since most of Florida is not from Florida everyone has there own driving style from there own state. Pile that on with all the old people just wandering into your lane at any given moment and driving 2miles an hour and you have some pretty crazy junk going on. Florida is the only state you can get into a five car pile up in the grocery store parking lot! I have actually seen it!
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    05 Jan 2010 08:07 PM
    ok ok ok so its my home state and I will agree that in 99% of the cases.....we r not bad drivers....we just r determined drivers lol People from south jersey...AC and below...we can drive, up north in Joysee....god help u lol. 2 different states lol
    sunny717User is Offline
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    07 Jan 2010 05:06 PM
    Whataya mean AC and below??
    How about Exit 74 and below.


    Coastie Dad & Mom and Sunny

    Sunny
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    07 Jan 2010 05:55 PM
    thats up nawth lol
    sunny717User is Offline
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    07 Jan 2010 07:30 PM
    Gee. . . .   I always thought up north was north of area code 609.


    Coastie Dad & Mom and Sunny

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    22 Jan 2010 02:06 AM
    North is anything North of the Red River :-)


    Kyle

     

    In his life changing name God Bless!

    I want to finally set it free, So show me how to see what Your mercy sees, Help me now to give what You gave to me...Forgiveness, Forgiveness
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    22 Jan 2010 12:16 PM
    hahaha I am from North Carolina. In basic training on off base liberty I came across some nice people and not so nice people. While walking down the road in uniform some gentlemen drove up to me and 2 other shipmates and started cussing at us and threw a bottle at my friend. I don't know about you guys, but that isn't a good start to a first time visit. Although the friendly man thanking me for my service in K-Mart made up for this. Another bad example was after basic my NOW wife and my mother drove up there for graduation. We were eating somewhere and the waitress was RUDE as all can be. I understand there are a bunch of rude people ALL OVER, but in Jersey idk.. I was stationed in New York (Central on Lake Ontario) and NOONE was rude to me at all. Everyone was nice there so idk I guess like you said it's south Jersey thats bad lol. OH for drivers.. drivers in New York are fine I spent a year and a half there and drove all over. Florida on the other hand.. I almost was killed there by a dumb driver wrecking in front of me trying to pass. People are nuts in Florida lol..OH TEXAS is horrible too..ugh


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    23 Jan 2010 10:12 PM
    Captkyguy said...
    North is anything North of the Red River :-)


    Red River is on the other side of north. . . . Like in out of bounds.


    AST3 Coastie. Dad & Mom and Sunny

    Sunny
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    11 Mar 2010 07:54 PM
    Hahahaha! Lmao! I'm from the great state of New Jersey, I even attended Rutgers University for a few years (unfortunately).

    But the origional poster forgot number 14!

    The presence of foul weather in winter months automatically means that lane dividers and double yellow line two way traffic dividers are no longer in effect. Feel free to drive wherever you please on the road, epecially if there is oncoming traffic. But remember, the motorist with the loudest stereo system ALWAYS has the right of way if you are in a "incliment winter weather, driving dead center down the road face off". If an accident is to occur in winter weather, the non New Jersey native is always at fault regardless of how the accident actually occured. This is because east coast dwellers "KNOW" how to drive in bad weather ( this is not an opinion, it is a fact).

    Happy winter driving!<!-- Edit -->

    Last Edited : 3/11/2010 11:18:22 PM GMT

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    11 Mar 2010 09:53 PM
    Fowl weather indeed...

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    11 Mar 2010 10:19 PM
    lmao!!!!

    and here i was gonna let that one slide.


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    12 Mar 2010 12:11 PM
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    13 Mar 2010 03:15 AM
    sunny717 said...
    [quote="Captkyguy"]North is anything North of the Red River :-)[/quote]

    Red River is on the other side of north. . . . Like in out of bounds.
    A little late in response but I stand corrected...lol

    What an awesome slide...OUCH!


    Kyle

     

    In his life changing name God Bless!

    I want to finally set it free, So show me how to see what Your mercy sees, Help me now to give what You gave to me...Forgiveness, Forgiveness
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    18 Apr 2010 09:44 PM
    I needed a good laugh today and this did the job! Gotta love "Jersey"!!!!
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    02 Oct 2011 01:01 AM
    Two comments...

    When I lived in Florida, I watched an elderly lady, who was no younger than 70 and probably still driving her first car from 50 years ago, miss her exit off I-95. She proceeded to do a uturn into oncoming traffic, drive maybe 20mph and turn off on her missed exit. All in the midst of a hurricane season downpour.

    Last time I was in Jersey, I was following a friend (NJ native) on the turnpike heading to Philly. We left Baltimore after lunch and stopped at his parent's place in Cherryhill by dinner. Not only did it take ridiculously long to get there, but it was a nightmare trying to follow him! I've never seen so many rice burners weave in and out of semi-truck infested, bumper to bumper traffic before! All while going 80mph.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    02 Oct 2011 08:05 AM
    Colin & his dad lived in Fredericksburg, VA and I lived in NJ. There were times I could make it door to door in just under 4 hours. I-95 highway number or speed limit?? Anyone's guess truly! Then there were a few trips it took 6 hours. Then of course there was the once it took me almost 14 hours! Goota love snow storms on the eastern seaboard. Then, if you know anything about the Washington DC area... the 14th street bridge was closed and everything was diverted to the Woodrow Wilson Bridge... Oh My God! If it wasn't Wednesday before Thanksgiving we would have just stopped but I had to get home to make a turkey and all the fixings! We ate thanksgiving dinner in our pajamas because we were all so exhausted from that stupid drive!! LOL But we made it in one piece and had plenty to be thankful for.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    potassiumUser is Offline
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    02 Oct 2011 12:31 PM
    Old guard, that's interesting. My NJ story was from Thanksgiving 2006. The drive through DC around midnight on Wednesday was hellish! Some nutcase tried to push us off the far right lane. I had 911 set and ready to call, but we lost him by pulling off the highway and parking at a police depot. Thankfully, I wasn't driving that night.

    We were so tired of the trip north on 95, we took the back roads (through Cape May!) back to Florida. Such a beautiful relaxing drive.
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    02 Oct 2011 03:36 PM
    I have driven Rte 1 from Maine to Florida. The problem places are Trenton, Philly, DC... it gets tricky to follow Rte 1 when all the peeps in the 'hood steal the damn street signs! My Thanksgiving nightmare was 1997 or 1998. Colin's dad transefered back to Alaska in 2000. But oh what a nightmare! Now I'm in Wisconsin... a traffic jam here means there is a car in front of you at the traffic light, oh perish the thought. LOL
    Sector NY, Staten Island
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    02 Oct 2011 08:25 PM
    Oh Wisconsin. Only real traffic jam I've seen there was trying to drive by the stadium in Green Bay.

    We took Rt 1 for a good bit, then hopped on 17 after the bridge-tunnel. 17 is pretty much empty til you get to Charleston.
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    22 Jul 2014 08:11 AM
    I agree with OldGuard and CSAyank. I grew up in NY and Miami drivers are the worse I've seen ANYWHERE. Seriously.

    Also, I'm surprised that nobody mentioned that there are no left turns in NJ. Ever. Why? No clue.
    I just know that I want to NJ for a wedding and drove around for a half hour before figuring out that these strange loops that emerge from the RIGHT lane somehow become the left turn. Who designed this? Dr. Seuss?

    And a serious question? Why did I get yelled at when i stopped to pump my own gas? You'd think I was trying to handle an un-pinned grenade.
    "Zombieland Rule #32- Enjoy the little things."
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    22 Jul 2014 08:40 AM
    In NJ it is against the law to pump your own. You are simply not allowed. Stay in the car, the attendant will do it for you. You'll also notice, it is practically the only state in the Union that gas stations RARELY have convenience stores. You are there to get gas, now just quietly move along. Where as most other states, nice to enormous stores at the gas stations. Not in Jersey, nope. Turnpike and Garden State Parkway gas stations aside, I'm talking just the local gas stations, not many quickie marts.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
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    22 Jul 2014 12:08 PM
    Not to mention "no left turns" in New Jersey. You are constantly turning right and circling the block to get to the other side of the street.
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    22 Jul 2014 01:02 PM
    Jug handles! I grew up with jug handles and circles... left turns are insane. Why cut across traffic when you can jug handle around it! makes sense to this old Jersey girl.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    captkyguyUser is Offline
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    22 Jul 2014 09:02 PM
    No pumping your own gas in Oregon either...I am really surprised all states do not do this, treating the pumping of gas has handling a hazardous cargo.

    I knew there was a good reason I did not need to visit Jersey :-)
    I want to finally set it free, So show me how to see what Your mercy sees, Help me now to give what You gave to me...Forgiveness, Forgiveness
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    23 Jul 2014 06:45 AM
    The question is, WHY cant we pump our own gas?
    Is it to create jobs in NJ? move traffic along faster? what's the reasoning?
    "Zombieland Rule #32- Enjoy the little things."
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    23 Jul 2014 07:20 AM
    Just illegal. Why is it illegal to marry a donkey in Arizona? Because someone made the law and everytime it comes up to a vote it passes again. No one in NJ wants to pump their own gas. My mother used to have Colin pump her gas for her when he was 9 because she didn't know how and didn't care to learn. Every once in a while someone puts it on the ballot to be allowed to pump your own... the state votes it down with an incredible margin.

    They also say it keeps the price of gas lower. Insurance premiums aren't as high if the guy doing it works there and is insured by Mobil, Exxon, Marathon gas, whatever. It is a mugh higher liability if you do it. Must be true because I'm paying 3.65 and my mom is only paying 3.15.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
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    23 Jul 2014 08:51 AM
    Oh wow. Its dang near $4 on the Island. I'd love to pay $3.15!

    The liability thing makes sense. I wonder if NY would ever consider doing that? But then again I think they make up the difference big time considering its cheaper in NY to get gas with cash, which means you need to go inside to pay, which means you're more likely to have an impulse buy of candy or soda, etc.
    "Zombieland Rule #32- Enjoy the little things."
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    26 Jul 2014 01:32 AM
    I live in the Bronx.

    It's pretty much a daily s**tshow on the roads.

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    28 Jul 2014 06:32 AM
    The Hamptons arent much better this time of the year my friend
    "Zombieland Rule #32- Enjoy the little things."
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    22 Mar 2016 10:55 PM
    I spent four days in NJ driving and you really have to drive.  The parkway to Cape May is what I mean you have to drive.  In Texas I can get on the highway and pretty much just drive in a straight line and gradual curves.  On the parkway the road is always turning a slight turn to the left or a slight turn to the right.  So you have to really pay attention and drive.  You can also drive 70 in a 65 but slow down in construction which there was a lot of.  The Troopers were also out in force.

    The tolls were crazy.  We stayed a night in a friends Beach House in Avalon a few miles north of Cape May.  If you got on the parkway from Avalon then there was no toll.  If you went under the parkway to Rt 9 and went south a bit and then got on the parkway from Rt 9 there was a toll for .75 at a unmanned tollbooth.  We had to scramble for the change.

    I'm also convinced that the lanes are narrower then other places I've driven.


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