JOKES!!!
Last Post 23 Mar 2008 06:19 PM by macmac. 4 Replies.
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macmacUser is Offline
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macmac

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08 Mar 2008 08:54 PM
    A Navy admiral and a coast guard chief were in a barber shop. as they were each nearly finished, their barbers were about to slap the after shave on each of their faces. The admiral says "hey! dont put that shit on me! my wife will think i was in a whore house!" The coast guard chief then said to his barber, "go ahead and put mine on, my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whore house smells like."
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    09 Mar 2008 02:10 AM
    LOL hehehehe thats pretty good!


    Hard Core Coastie WifeUser is Offline
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    Hard Core Coastie Wife

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    09 Mar 2008 03:34 AM
    sweet joke


    Proud wife of Xomgar!!





    Proud wife of Xomgar!!





    macmacUser is Offline
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    23 Mar 2008 06:13 PM
    A retired military couple, one an Air Force Lt. Colonel and his ever-nagging wife, a Navy Capitan, were vacationing in the holy land. While there, the wife died. The undertaker told the colonel, you can have her shipped home for $5,000 or you can have her buried here in the holy land for just $150.

    The colonel thought about it and decided to just have her shipped home. Astonished, the undertaker asked why he would pay $5,000 to ship her home when most would jump at the chance to be buried in the holy land and it would only be $150.

    The colonel replied, "True, but long ago you buried a man here and three days later he rose from the dead. I'm afraid I just can't take that chance. ..."
    macmacUser is Offline
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    macmac

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    23 Mar 2008 06:19 PM
    ADMIRAL
    Leaps tall buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water amid typhoons, reviews policy with God.

    CAPTAIN
    Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if sea is calm, talks to God.

    COMMANDER
    Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a speeding BB, walks on water in indoor swimming pool, talks to God only if a special request chit is approved.

    LT. COMMANDER
    Barely clears Quonset hut, loses tug-of-war with switch-engine, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, is occasionally addressed by God.

    LIEUTENANT
    Makes high marks by trying to leap buildings, is run over by the locomotive, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury, dog paddles, talks to animals.

    LIEUTENANT jg
    Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed in the Mae-West, talks to bulkheads.

    ENSIGN
    Falls over doorstep when trying to enter building, says look at the Choo-Choo, wets himself, plays in mud puddles, mumbles to himself.

    CHIEF
    Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them, freezes water with a single glance, makes policy and enforces it.


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