You definitely need to track down your 214. This is taking way too long. I've been a Reservist my entire career and each time I've been on AD long enough to warrant a 214 (3x), I've had it in hand by my RELAD date. I'd suggest that you start with your unit YN (if you've got one), otherwise your SPO will be starting point. As for VA bennies, as long as you've done a minimum of 90 days on AD (which you obviously have) and have an honorable discharge, you're good to go. I don't believe your Reserve status will play into this at all.
If you're going to be completely discharged from the CG, then the SELRES isn't an issue, and as far as types of Reserve discharges, I'm not sure there are different ones. If you're not going to be discharged , I think you're out of luck, since, by your own admission you didn't read the form you signed. The up side is that you only need to do a year before requesting transfer to the IRR.
As a side note, if you ever plan on using your Post 9-11 GI Bill benefits, the VA can be kind of wonky. When I applied about a year and a half ago so I could transfer that benefit to my son, who was a HS senior at the time, the VA tried telling me I only had 57 days of AD. Where they got that number, I haven't the slightest idea and they couldn't even tell me. All this to say, be prepared to send them your 214. The education side of the VA seems to have trouble verifying your service, since we're not DoD. On the other hand, the home loan side of the VA is super easy to deal with. Go figure.
Let me know if you have any more questions.