Hi Historynick,
Welcome to the forum, you will find this is a great resource for information. I am finishing up the process of enlisting as a reservist, there is a ton of stuff that I am learning and have yet to learn. So, by no means am I an expert but I will share the little that I now.
Have you contacted a recruiter? They have the most up to date, hot off the press info on everything to answer your questions about your college background, pay, benefits, requirements to get in, etc. . Should you and your family decide to proceed with this, the recruiter will be your point guard to get you through the process. (Being a woman will not make it easier to get a spot)
Yes, you will have to go to boot camp. There is a shorter version called DEPOT that is 3 weeks as opposed to the traditional 8 weeks. A recruiter will be able to determine if you qualify for DEPOT. You will need to pick a rate (job). Training for that (A school) is lengthy, varies by rate. I don't know where you live, but job training is either going to take place in VA or CA. (Boot camp is in NJ)
One weekend a month, two weeks a year-yes that's right. However, don't sign up using that as your linch pin. Understand that you can get called up at anytime for any length of time. You're training for potential active duty. Keep that always in the forefront of your mind.
I too am a woman, mother of an 11 year old girl and 8 month old boy. I have a great husband. Sacrifices all around if I get called for TAD (temporary active duty). However, we all know what me being a reservist means, and we will be ready.
I suggest that when you go and talk to a recruiter, that your soon to be wife goes with you. If you're going to do this, you're doing it together.
Hope that helps a bit, and good luck to ya!