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First Unit and being married
Last Post 03 May 2011 05:38 AM by Gears. 25 Replies.
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SamuraiXUser is Offline
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27 Apr 2011 11:36 PM
    <!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 unctuationKerning/> false false false oNotPromoteQF/> EN-US X-NONE X-NONE ontGrowAutofit/> ontVertAlignCellWithSp/> ontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> ontVertAlignInTxbx/> MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> Ok, I know this general question has been asked many time, but I always see the same little notation and I would like someone to elaborate on it.

    I always see "unless you’re married, then that changes everything significantly" In short, my question is how much baring does being married have on your "dream sheet" and first unit. For example, if I put on my dream sheet that I want D7 because that is where my wife and I are, or she’s pregnant or something.

    Is it still a tough luck thing or what? I know it seems dumb, but I always see the "if you were married" thing and I wanted to know.

    Thank you all for your time and answers.
    ~Danny

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    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    28 Apr 2011 07:15 AM
    If you are married, you will not go OUTConus for your first assignment out of boot camp. (No Hawaii, Guam, Puerto Rico, Alaska, that sort of thing.) Anything and everything else is fair game. I know plenty of military wives that have had moves right in mid-pregnancy so that won't be taken into account. You are the service member, you fill the needs of the service first, pregnant wife is not a need of the service. You know what I mean... they won't think "Oh let's keep them close to family for sake of the family." If they need you in Bremerton, Washington that's where you will go. Now, can you request staying in D7? Sure! Can you add something in the notes section? Sure. Will they do anything to accomodate? Hit or miss! They might, they might not. Like the old saying goes, hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
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    southern118User is Offline
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    28 Apr 2011 07:59 AM
    my wife was high risk and at 7 months when we moved to my first place.
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    28 Apr 2011 08:32 AM
    Cool. I'm not asking because I want to get out of anything. I just wanted to know what the whole "unless you're married" thing implied. Thanksgiving again for the answers
    ~Danny
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    28 Apr 2011 08:47 AM
    I didn't think you were trying to get out of anything... just trying to give you a realistic idea that it might matter, it might not.

    It also matters as far as household goods... we say take very little to your first station. Well if you are married and have a house full of furniture and stuff, the CG moves stuff and you can have all of your stuff, it just stays at home with your lovely bride. You would take minimal stuff to your ship. Does that make sense? There are a few other things that might change if you are a married Coastie versus an unmarried Coastie but they are just small things. It doesn't hurt to ask the questions and see if you can sort things out ahead of time.
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    28 Apr 2011 10:11 PM
    Ya, I just want to make sure of things. Something else i found quite interesting is that in another post, someone said that they had their sector guaranteed in their contract, but not guaranteed A school. I know that the reserves is pretty much how you can get a sure spot at a station, but i know you also get an A school too. So i got kinda confused about how he could have one and not the other.
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    29 Apr 2011 06:12 AM
    As I understand it, the A school might not convene for a month, 3 months or the first class that would be available is already full. So the reservist will go their assigned station as a non-rate and do what needs done for a while until school becomes available. Reservists are important but try not to compare their service to active duty. You are all in the same service together and do the same mission but you go about it slightly different because of different "norms".
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    30 Apr 2011 09:21 PM
    Posted By Old Guard2 on 29 Apr 2011 07:12 AM 
    Reservists are important but try not to compare their service to active duty. You are all in the same service together and do the same mission but you go about it slightly different because of different "norms".


    I might need some clarification on this part as it seems to be an underhanded jab at reservists.  I might just be taking it the wrong way but just wanted to clear things up before replying to this.
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    30 Apr 2011 11:28 PM
    Lol, OldGuard Is awesome, She loves all service members the same. She just comes across as "harsh" sometimes because she wants the point to hit home clearly. But its not an "underhanded Jab" Reservist are VERY different from active. For one, active can be stationed anywhere. There are some "reservist only" jobs (investigator), some Active only job (Airmen). Reservist can stay within 100 miles of home. Active can go anywhere. Different norms, not worthless tag-alongs XD. That's all she meant.
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    01 May 2011 08:01 AM
    I'm sorry if you think its underhanded, there is no way that is what it is. Rebuttle is open, say what you want. I'll tell you how sadly you misinterpreted what I said. People compare why reservists get a school to why active don't; why reservists get their station ahead of time, active don't; why reservists get things in their contracts, active doesn't. When a young enlistee is comparing what a reservist receives and what an active duty member receives, they are comparing apples to oranges. Yes, you do the same job... but how reservists do it and get there and get their stations is a totally different process from active duty. If your best bud is going reserves and it seems he was promised the sun, the moon & the stars, it is because those items align differently for them (reserves). Active can have the sun, the moon & the stars as well they just achieve them in a slightly different method.

    Again... you want to rebut... go for it. I always wear my big girl panties. If I want to jab at something... I NEVER do it underhandedly.

    Samurai, Thank you! I try to post sweet... but I'm Irish and from New Jersey. Our sweet is generally pretty thin. LOL
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    01 May 2011 10:37 AM
    Posted By Old Guard2 on 01 May 2011 09:01 AM
    I'm sorry if you think its underhanded, there is no way that is what it is. Rebuttle is open, say what you want. I'll tell you how sadly you misinterpreted what I said. People compare why reservists get a school to why active don't; why reservists get their station ahead of time, active don't; why reservists get things in their contracts, active doesn't. When a young enlistee is comparing what a reservist receives and what an active duty member receives, they are comparing apples to oranges. Yes, you do the same job... but how reservists do it and get there and get their stations is a totally different process from active duty. If your best bud is going reserves and it seems he was promised the sun, the moon & the stars, it is because those items align differently for them (reserves). Active can have the sun, the moon & the stars as well they just achieve them in a slightly different method.

    Again... you want to rebut... go for it. I always wear my big girl panties. If I want to jab at something... I NEVER do it underhandedly.

    Samurai, Thank you! I try to post sweet... but I'm Irish and from New Jersey. Our sweet is generally pretty thin. LOL
    And that's exactly the clarification I was looking for.  For some reason, when I read your post, it seemed like the phrase sh**bag reservist or weekend warrior just out playing Coast Guard was going to be added.  That's how I took the "reservists are important but try not to compare their service to active duty" comment.  I also read that comment as reservists are only here for the menial tasks the AD members are too busy for and it's not really service.  I have dealt with more than just a few people that would just prefer to not have any reservists at all because of everything you're talking about.  On top of that, I've read a few stories on various websites that talk about reservists being mistreated by AD guys just for the fact that they're reservists.  Belittle all you want the budget differences and how that affects enlistment/first unit stationing because I would happen to agree that AD guys get the short side everything because of bureaucratic nonsense that almost no one understands.  I just didn't want to feel blamed for things I have absolutely no control over. 


    I figured I had misread your post as nothing I've ever read from you has indicated those feelings.  That's why I asked for clarification before thinking the worst of it all.  Thanks again for all your posts as you've taught me a lot through your own experiences and I apologize for the misunderstanding.
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    01 May 2011 12:28 PM
    Posted By TheLurker22 on 01 May 2011 11:37 AM
    Posted By Old Guard2 on 01 May 2011 09:01 AM
    I'm sorry if you think its underhanded, there is no way that is what it is. Rebuttle is open, say what you want. I'll tell you how sadly you misinterpreted what I said. People compare why reservists get a school to why active don't; why reservists get their station ahead of time, active don't; why reservists get things in their contracts, active doesn't. When a young enlistee is comparing what a reservist receives and what an active duty member receives, they are comparing apples to oranges. Yes, you do the same job... but how reservists do it and get there and get their stations is a totally different process from active duty. If your best bud is going reserves and it seems he was promised the sun, the moon & the stars, it is because those items align differently for them (reserves). Active can have the sun, the moon & the stars as well they just achieve them in a slightly different method.

    Again... you want to rebut... go for it. I always wear my big girl panties. If I want to jab at something... I NEVER do it underhandedly.

    Samurai, Thank you! I try to post sweet... but I'm Irish and from New Jersey. Our sweet is generally pretty thin. LOL
    And that's exactly the clarification I was looking for.  For some reason, when I read your post, it seemed like the phrase sh**bag reservist or weekend warrior just out playing Coast Guard was going to be added.  That's how I took the "reservists are important but try not to compare their service to active duty" comment.  I also read that comment as reservists are only here for the menial tasks the AD members are too busy for and it's not really service.  I have dealt with more than just a few people that would just prefer to not have any reservists at all because of everything you're talking about.  On top of that, I've read a few stories on various websites that talk about reservists being mistreated by AD guys just for the fact that they're reservists.  Belittle all you want the budget differences and how that affects enlistment/first unit stationing because I would happen to agree that AD guys get the short side everything because of bureaucratic nonsense that almost no one understands.  I just didn't want to feel blamed for things I have absolutely no control over. 


    I figured I had misread your post as nothing I've ever read from you has indicated those feelings.  That's why I asked for clarification before thinking the worst of it all.  Thanks again for all your posts as you've taught me a lot through your own experiences and I apologize for the misunderstanding.
      How receptive AD are to reservists was something I was wondering about. Your post verified my suspicions. 

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    01 May 2011 12:44 PM
    Posted By cb1918 on 01 May 2011 01:28 PM
    Posted By TheLurker22 on 01 May 2011 11:37 AM
    Posted By Old Guard2 on 01 May 2011 09:01 AM
    I'm sorry if you think its underhanded, there is no way that is what it is. Rebuttle is open, say what you want. I'll tell you how sadly you misinterpreted what I said. People compare why reservists get a school to why active don't; why reservists get their station ahead of time, active don't; why reservists get things in their contracts, active doesn't. When a young enlistee is comparing what a reservist receives and what an active duty member receives, they are comparing apples to oranges. Yes, you do the same job... but how reservists do it and get there and get their stations is a totally different process from active duty. If your best bud is going reserves and it seems he was promised the sun, the moon & the stars, it is because those items align differently for them (reserves). Active can have the sun, the moon & the stars as well they just achieve them in a slightly different method.

    Again... you want to rebut... go for it. I always wear my big girl panties. If I want to jab at something... I NEVER do it underhandedly.

    Samurai, Thank you! I try to post sweet... but I'm Irish and from New Jersey. Our sweet is generally pretty thin. LOL
    And that's exactly the clarification I was looking for.  For some reason, when I read your post, it seemed like the phrase sh**bag reservist or weekend warrior just out playing Coast Guard was going to be added.  That's how I took the "reservists are important but try not to compare their service to active duty" comment.  I also read that comment as reservists are only here for the menial tasks the AD members are too busy for and it's not really service.  I have dealt with more than just a few people that would just prefer to not have any reservists at all because of everything you're talking about.  On top of that, I've read a few stories on various websites that talk about reservists being mistreated by AD guys just for the fact that they're reservists.  Belittle all you want the budget differences and how that affects enlistment/first unit stationing because I would happen to agree that AD guys get the short side everything because of bureaucratic nonsense that almost no one understands.  I just didn't want to feel blamed for things I have absolutely no control over. 


    I figured I had misread your post as nothing I've ever read from you has indicated those feelings.  That's why I asked for clarification before thinking the worst of it all.  Thanks again for all your posts as you've taught me a lot through your own experiences and I apologize for the misunderstanding.
      How receptive AD are to reservists was something I was wondering about. Your post verified my suspicions. 


    It really all depends on what unit you're stationed at.  I'm at a PSU with almost all reservists and so there's not an issue.  However, I've heard at sectors or small boat stations that reservists are treated like crap (almost worse than nonrates).  I really think it's part jealousy on how the budget is divided up and how long AD guys had to wait for things automatically given to reservists.  We are on the same team but a lot of people out there sure don't act like it.
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    01 May 2011 01:36 PM
    I've been at a small boat station with reservists. Rank was always respected, and those who were fully qualified were treated the same as AD members of the crew. I can't remember one time, when anyone at the unit was pissed off when a RSV member got back from school. When our RSV members came back their accomplishments were recognized by bringing all hands to quarters.

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    01 May 2011 08:13 PM
    So when other people are telling me about their experiences at different places, I shouldn't pass along the information? Duly noted. Where did the term sh--bag reservist or weekend warrior playing Coast Guard come from if there wasn't that attitude out there...somewhere? I didn't mean that it happened at all places but it does happen.
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    01 May 2011 08:19 PM
    Well I can guarantee you never heard it from me or any of the people I know personally.
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    01 May 2011 08:32 PM
    Lurker, why so sensitive? It is all good, we are all friends.
    I want to finally set it free, So show me how to see what Your mercy sees, Help me now to give what You gave to me...Forgiveness, Forgiveness
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    02 May 2011 05:48 AM
    Where did the term sh--bag reservist or weekend warrior playing Coast Guard come from if there wasn't that attitude out there...somewhere?


    Those terms likely originated from reservists showing up at their respective units, who weren't contributing to the mission, but were happy to help reduce the surplus of coffee. S--t bags aren't limited to the reserves, there are plenty of people out there on AD who prefer to show up and collect a pay check. Fortunately, those types both AD and RSV are in the minority.
    “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee
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    02 May 2011 10:55 AM
    i agree with gears on this one.
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    02 May 2011 11:43 AM
    +1 Gears and southern118, those people are found in all walks of life.

    I also wanted to add a little input to the original post. You CAN be stationed OUTCONUS as a married nonrate on your first tour, I was stationed in Alaska as well as another non rate a month prior to myself. It does happen but from what I understand its less likely due to the cost of moving a family etc. It was almost 8k to move our household goods so they exercise financial scrutiny I would assume. As for being pregnant, my wife is 7.5 months currently and we are moving in a week, sometimes it just happens. The other marrie non rate up here with us moved from Florida to Alaska and are in the same boat both literally and metaphorically. From my experience, my comments were always taken into consideration when assigning and subsequently reassigning me. I was actually impressed with how much input I was able to give to the detailers. Hope this helps!
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    02 May 2011 12:20 PM
    Ejhcougar, it does help a lot
    Thank you for your feedback, it is greatly appreciated.
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    02 May 2011 01:46 PM
    Okay so I have a weird question to follow up with. I hear alot about people being transferred to Alaska and such. My question is how big of a role does ME's play up there? Is there a big need or demand for them? Do they have them just to have them, etc. etc. Any and all information would be greatly appreciated.
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    02 May 2011 02:12 PM
    We had one ME on our cutter, and he was only there because he was a BM who lateralled over, he was filling a BM3. As for ME, that's my only interaction with them. However, we do LOTS of LE up here. In our last patrol we did something like 50 boardings in 41 days. The difference is we aren't primarily looking for drugs, we are counting fish. Still, a lot of good experience to be had for anyone looking for LE work. As for getting transferred to Alaska, from what I have seen, if you ask for it, you have a good chance of going. But that is scuttlebutt, its always needs of the service!
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    02 May 2011 06:13 PM
    Im not looking to go to Alaska, i just wanted to know cause i was always curious. I really wanna be stationed anywhere in D7
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    02 May 2011 08:25 PM
    Posted By captkyguy on 01 May 2011 09:32 PM
    Lurker, why so sensitive? It is all good, we are all friends.


    My fault....I know I can get worked up a little on a couple topics and it kind of irritates me if I think I'm being judged unfairly.  I'll have to work on that.  No hurt feelings here and hopefully, there are none on anyone else's end either. 
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    03 May 2011 05:38 AM
    it kind of irritates me if I think I'm being judged unfairly.


    Who's judging you? We're all on the same team here.
    “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee
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