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New Coastie Girlfriend
Last Post 02 Jan 2014 04:25 PM by Gears. 53 Replies.
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MarmsheimerUser is Offline
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Marmsheimer

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18 Jan 2012 06:22 PM
    I just started dating a Coastie. He's going underway next month and I'm nervous what that entails. Will he be able to contact me? I'm sure there aren't phones or anything, but what is going to happen for those months that he's gone?

    Thank you!
    GearsUser is Offline
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    Gears

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    18 Jan 2012 06:46 PM
    He should have access to e-mail generally. He's going to be doing the missions the CG is assigned to do. No one can tell you specifics for reasons of Operational Security and we have no idea what unit he's attached to.
    “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    18 Jan 2012 10:12 PM
    He will have access to email... However, there might be times he won't be able to. There are days I'll get an email from my son 3 times in one day and for 2 or 3 days in a row. Same with his girl. Then her & I may go days with nothing. So we talk to each other. Luckily her & I are very close, so we can keep each other company when he isn't around for either of us. When you don't hear from him for a few days, maybe even a week at a time, it doesn't mean he doesn't want to email you or isn't thinking about you... He just might not have the ability to email you at that time.

    In the meantime... while you are just waiting for him to get back home, ask questions here. We can teach you some things about the CG and help you figure things out. We are pretty good at that. I hope the time you have been dating has been fun and the time apart goes quickly.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    Browns24User is Offline
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    19 Jan 2012 06:34 AM
    Some ships do have phones but you will be using calling cards and you may get a good 4 mintues out of the phone call before your minutes are up.... It's quite expensive....
    MarmsheimerUser is Offline
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    Marmsheimer

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    19 Jan 2012 04:33 PM
    Thank you everyone. I'm just new to this and dot have anyone to talk to. The time we have been dating has been wonderful. We compliment each other so well. He had become my best friend. I hope it goes fast. I'm sure I will be on here to talk and such, it will hopefully make the time go by quicker.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    19 Jan 2012 09:54 PM
    You can talk to us! We are friendly and we understand what it is to love someone in the military. It isn't is always easy! But we do understand. Ask questions or just throw a joke out and start a conversation.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    Suarez326User is Offline
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    21 Jan 2012 07:43 PM
    Hey, I just wanted to let you know how it is from someone who has an SO underway right now To be honest, there are times where you won't be able to speak to him for a while. My fiancee is on the Healy right now, and he says that they do have internet but it is incredibly slow, so I don't expect to hear from him so often. What you can do though to help is write down everything you would tell him if he were here, so you don't forget. It helps me at least so I hope it will help you if you decide to try it. Try to keep yourself busy with friends and family so it'll keep your mind off of him being away. If you need anyone to talk to, don't hesitate to PM me, I'll be here =]
    MarmsheimerUser is Offline
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    07 Feb 2012 02:08 PM
    So they moved up his time to go underway. It's now a week early. We are trying to spend as much time together as we can. I appreciate everyone who is willing to let out a listening ear. It's just my first time with him leaving. I'm sure while he's gone I'll be on here chatting away
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    07 Feb 2012 02:18 PM
    Well no invitation needed... hop right into a conversation and we'll chat right along with you! The first deployment is the hardest because you have no idea what to expect. Hopefully we can make it a little easier for you.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    MarmsheimerUser is Offline
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    22 Feb 2012 01:14 PM
    Well he leaves tomorrow morning. I said my goodbyes on Sunday. That was one of the hardest things I've had to do. We haven't been dating long, but I know he loves me. Before he left he gave me a absolutely beautiful sapphire promise ring. It made me cry more.
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    22 Feb 2012 01:37 PM
    Oh, that stinks. But it won't be as bad as you figure it will be. I can almost promise that! If you don't have a lot of friends that are dating or married to someone military, be prepared for some pretty stupid comments! They don't get it sometimes... you aren't "single" and having a blast... you are committed and figuring out how to two-step alone at the dance Saturday night. Non-military people don't understand. They think it could be viewed as fun. It shouldn't be viewed as torture but it is lonely. Come chat with us... we'll help you keep it all together if you think you are falling apart.

    The ring sounds beauiful! Very nice touch by your Coastie.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    FloridaGirlUser is Offline
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    24 Feb 2012 01:40 AM
    Take this time and really focus on you. Get some things done you've been putting off. Get your hair done, paint that bedroom, start volunteering once a week, pick up some extra shifts at work, or whatever. It really helps take your mind off "But he's not here!"
    Honor: if you need it defined, you don’t have it.
    MarmsheimerUser is Offline
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    29 Feb 2012 02:44 PM
    That's exactly how it is. It's not fun and at times is torturous . My best friend and piece of me is gone. I look at the ring he gives me and that makes me smile because I know he loves me. He also gave me his sweatshirt before he left too, it's lost his smell by now though. I started to volunteer at the local SPCA and that helps relieve the sadness for a little bit every week. I've been doing ok I think so far. One week is down, not sure how many more to go...
    Manda<3User is Offline
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    09 Mar 2012 08:45 PM
    Im new at being a Coastie gf as well. So far its hard because I don't get to see him, but do yall think when were married that I'll see more of him or just bout the same?
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    09 Mar 2012 08:51 PM
    The CG will recognize you then, but no it won't change.
    Honor: if you need it defined, you don’t have it.
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    09 Mar 2012 09:31 PM
    It seems harder everyday not seeing my man. Im going crazy!
    FloridaGirlUser is Offline
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    FloridaGirl

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    09 Mar 2012 09:47 PM
    You "get used to it." It's always hard, but you learn to live with it. Sometimes things just are.
    Honor: if you need it defined, you don’t have it.
    Manda<3User is Offline
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    Manda<3

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    09 Mar 2012 09:52 PM
    True
    Manda<3User is Offline
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    16 Mar 2012 04:09 AM
    I feel like my boyfriend and I aren't emotionally attached anymore. Im not sure how to explain it, but I feel that were not getting to get to know more as we grow as a couple. I need advice please before I become an emotional wreck.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    16 Mar 2012 08:06 AM
    Manda, He is in boot camp right now, right?? It is hard to feel that emotional connection when the communication is SOOOOO limited. Believe me, I understand! When Jim was in boot, wow, almost 27 years ago, I had my doubts. I felt like there was nothing there, we were drifting apart. Remember this was 27 years ago so we didn't have the instant connetion that everyone has now. And still I felt like we weren't US anymore, he was Jim, I was Macie and we weren't US. Then week 7 he had off base liberty. (That was back in the day when liberty was 24 hours.) I lived in NJ so I went to Cape May to see my fiance! I picked him up on base. The minute I saw him, he wrapped his arms around me, he kissed me... UUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! It is so easy to get those feelings you are feeling because you aren't only far apart physically, you can't just text, email, call him to say good night... it's very stressful! Please don't give up on him or you or that "us" feeling until you see him again and get used to a new normal and new ways of communicating. Then if the feelings just aren't there anymore you know you gave it your best shot and didn't give up. But give it a chance... this boot camp stuff is hard on everyone!!! Him there doing all the training and learning and insanity. You where you are doing all the worrying and thinking and feeling so alone. So hang in there kiddo. It isn't easy but if you love each other, it does get easier. I promise. Just hang in there. If you ever need to talk, I'm almost always available. Let me know, I've been through the emotions you are feeling so I can empathize!

    Macie
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    FloridaGirlUser is Offline
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    FloridaGirl

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    16 Mar 2012 01:32 PM
    If he is still in bootcamp, know you are probably on his mind all the time. While he's doing pushups, he's thinking about you. When he gets letters, he hopes he gets one from you. Everyone knew what everyone else's significant other looked like because we just had to show everyone the pictures! When you are in bootcamp, your loved ones are what get you through the days.
    Honor: if you need it defined, you don’t have it.
    Manda<3User is Offline
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    17 Mar 2012 01:27 AM
    He's not in the boot camp. He's been the CG for 6 years now. But I havent been with him the whole time. The hard part is that I don't have people around me that understnad so everyone on here is what I have.
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    17 Mar 2012 01:33 AM
    Macie, thank you. Your advice did help. I know when we see each other next that we'll be reconnected, but it's the between time that sucks lol. I can't wait to see him.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    17 Mar 2012 09:52 AM
    I'm sorry, I get people confused and forget who has what Coastie where... I'm old! LOL The part about not having people around that understand, yep, we've all been there. A wife sending her hubby off to boot camp, a girlfriend saying goodbye to a boyfriend as he heads off to a new duty station. The people around you aren't military, they don't get it. They think this is a nice vacation for you when he goes away... meanwhile you just want to be closer to where he is. If your future is together and you become a wife, that part gets a little easier. You are surrounded by other wives, families, they get it. They feel that same pride in their spouse but lonliness when they are gone. So I know a forum isn't exactly the same as a neighbor or face to face friend but I promise people are generally around here and willing to talk and share.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    Manda<3User is Offline
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    17 Mar 2012 07:31 PM
    So today I was looking at my best friend phone and saw that she was talking to my boyfriend. I looked and he was asking her to find out what size ring I wear and to ask for my fathers number..hmm.
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    17 Mar 2012 08:22 PM
    OK nosey girl... stop looking before a surprise is ruined!
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    Manda<3User is Offline
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    17 Mar 2012 11:56 PM
    i wasn't meaming to. Just saw his name lol.
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    18 Mar 2012 09:15 AM
    That's too funny! Don't let on to anyone that you know... Let him have whatever surprise he is planning!
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    Manda<3User is Offline
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    18 Mar 2012 02:03 PM
    Ok . I get to go see him for two weeks next month. Pretty stoked.
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    18 Mar 2012 09:48 PM
    That will be a good two weeks!! It will go fast so enjoy it!
    Sector NY, Staten Island
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