Register | Login
United States Coast Guard Forums and Information
The World's Premiere Source for United States Coast Guard. Information and resources about the USCG, rules, regulations, policy, pay, jobs, forms, pay, locations, and more. auxiliary,faq,facts,manuals,boating rules,boating regulations,boating safety,inflatable boats, scuba diving,boating magazines,travel,boats,boat talk,boaters,boats for sale,boating information,survey,yacht,cruising,cruiser,sea,ocean,tide,current,weather,marine,ships,inflatables,fishing,fisherman,cutter,boat navigation,wind,chart,navigator,powerboat,sailboat,sailing,opinion The World's Premiere Source for United States Coast Guard. Information and resources about the USCG, rules, regulations, policy, pay, jobs, forms, pay, locations, and more. auxiliary,faq,facts,manuals,boating rules,boating regulations,boating safety,inflatable boats, scuba diving,boating magazines,travel,boats,boat talk,boaters,boats for sale,boating information,survey,yacht,cruising,cruiser,sea,ocean,tide,current,weather,marine,ships,inflatables,fishing,fisherman,cutter,boat navigation,wind,chart,navigator,powerboat,sailboat,sailing,opinion The World's Premiere Source for United States Coast Guard. Information and resources about the USCG, rules, regulations, policy, pay, jobs, forms, pay, locations, and more. auxiliary,faq,facts,manuals,boating rules,boating regulations,boating safety,inflatable boats, scuba diving,boating magazines,travel,boats,boat talk,boaters,boats for sale,boating information,survey,yacht,cruising,cruiser,sea,ocean,tide,current,weather,marine,ships,inflatables,fishing,fisherman,cutter,boat navigation,wind,chart,navigator,powerboat,sailboat,sailing,opinion The World's Premiere Source for United States Coast Guard. Information and resources about the USCG, rules, regulations, policy, pay, jobs, forms, pay, locations, and more. auxiliary,faq,facts,manuals,boating rules,boating regulations,boating safety,,inflatable boats, scuba diving,boating magazines,travel,boats,boat talk,boaters,boats for sale,boating information,survey,yacht,cruising,cruiser,sea,ocean,tide,current,weather,marine,ships,inflatables,fishing,fisherman,cutter,boat navigation,wind,chart,navigator,powerboat,sailboat,sailing,opinion The World's Premiere Source for United States Coast Guard. Information and resources about the USCG, rules, regulations, policy, pay, jobs, forms, pay, locations, and more. auxiliary,faq,facts,manuals,boating rules,boating regulations,boating safety,,inflatable boats, scuba diving,boating magazines,travel,boats,boat talk,boaters,boats for sale,boating information,survey,yacht,cruising,cruiser,sea,ocean,tide,current,weather,marine,ships,inflatables,fishing,fisherman,cutter,boat navigation,wind,chart,navigator,powerboat,sailboat,sailing,opinion The World's Premiere Source for United States Coast Guard. Information and resources about the USCG, rules, regulations, policy, pay, jobs, forms, pay, locations, and more. auxiliary,faq,facts,manuals,boating rules,boating regulations,boating safety,inflatable boats, scuba diving,boating magazines,travel,boats,boat talk,boaters,boats for sale,boating information,survey,yacht,cruising,cruiser,sea,ocean,tide,current,weather,marine,ships,inflatables,fishing,fisherman,cutter,boat navigation,wind,chart,navigator,powerboat,sailboat,sailing,opinion The World's Premiere Source for United States Coast Guard. Information and resources about the USCG, rules, regulations, policy, pay, jobs, forms, pay, locations, and more. auxiliary,faq,facts,manuals,boating rules,boating regulations,boating safety,inflatable boats, scuba diving,boating magazines,travel,boats,boat talk,boaters,boats for sale,boating information,survey,yacht,cruising,cruiser,sea,ocean,tide,current,weather,marine,ships,inflatables,fishing,fisherman,cutter,boat navigation,wind,chart,navigator,powerboat,sailboat,sailing,opinion The World's Premiere Source for United States Coast Guard. Information and resources about the USCG, rules, regulations, policy, pay, jobs, forms, pay, locations, and more. auxiliary,faq,facts,manuals,boating rules,boating regulations,boating safety,inflatable boats, scuba diving,boating magazines,travel,boats,boat talk,boaters,boats for sale,boating information,survey,cruising,cruiser,sea,ocean,tide,current,weather,marine,ships,inflatables,fishing,fisherman,cutter,boat navigation,wind,chart,navigator,powerboat,sailboat,sailing,opinion The World's Premiere Source for United States. Information and resources about the USCG, rules, regulations, policy, pay, jobs, forms, pay, locations, and more. auxiliary,faq,facts,manuals,boating rules,boating regulations,boating safety,inflatable boats, scuba diving,boating magazines,boats,boat talk,boaters,boats for sale,boating information,survey,cruising,cruiser,sea,ocean,tide,current,weather,marine,ships,inflatables,fishing,fisherman,cutter,boat navigation,wind,chart,navigator,powerboat,sailboat,sailing,opinion
coast guard girlfriend. i need help!
Last Post 13 Dec 2019 11:50 AM by Old Guard2. 25 Replies.
Printer Friendly
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Sort:
PrevPrev NextNext
You are not authorized to post a reply.
Author Messages Not Resolved
stickitoutUser is Offline
New Member
New Member
Send Private Message
Posts:2
stickitout

--
28 Mar 2012 10:26 AM
    My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and half. He has decided to join the Coast Guard. I'm personally not too fond of this, but I have decided that since I love him, I'll stick it out with him. I need to know what to expect. I thought about getting in touch with a recruiter but the closest one is an hour or more away, and I don't think they'll really explain this to me over the phone. I just want to know what I'm getting myself into, before it's too late to change my mind. What I don't want is to live like an army wife. No offense to anyone. That lifestyle just isn't for me. My cousin is married to a man in the army and he's gone like four to six months at a time and she practically raises their kid herself. My boyfriend and I currently have no solid plans of getting married, although he has mentioned that once he finishes basic and his school training I could live with him, so maybe he has more plans? I just don't want to live a life where I end up married to someone who is gone for months at a time and stuff like that. I need to know what to expect. Please and thanks
    chuklesUser is Offline
    Trusted Member / Administrator
    Moderator
    Moderator
    Send Private Message
    Posts:2907
    chukles

    --
    28 Mar 2012 10:35 AM
    4 to 6 months deployment is a very real reality in the Coast Guard as well. We are deployed all over the world. You will be able to attend the meeting with your Boyfriends recruiter (if the boyfriend wishes) and ask all the questions you want. I wish you the best in your endeavor!
    I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted Coastie, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
    Moderator / Trusted Member
    Forum Supreme!
    Forum Supreme!
    Send Private Message
    Posts:14367
    Old Guard2

    --
    28 Mar 2012 11:23 AM
    Stickitout, I'm on the way out to a lunch meeting. But I'll post my thoughts in a little while. It will give you some insight... I will tell you starting here and reading some of the other threads and asking the questions, is a good place to start. We won't sugar coat it for you. It might be worse than you thought, it might not be. But I'll be back in a bit. We'll give you our opinions and advice.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    stickitoutUser is Offline
    New Member
    New Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:2
    stickitout

    --
    28 Mar 2012 11:35 AM
    Chuckles, if he got deployed and we were married, is there anyway I could move around with him? Because I don't feel like the sitting at home for six months by myself lifestyle suits me in a marriage.
    chuklesUser is Offline
    Trusted Member / Administrator
    Moderator
    Moderator
    Send Private Message
    Posts:2907
    chukles

    --
    28 Mar 2012 12:03 PM
    Stickitout,

    OldGuard has been there and will be very open about her experiences as a wife. Your best bet is to ask the questions. To answer your question, If his ship goes out to see, you will not be going with him.

    As you are stationed in different places, yes you will accompany him, with rare exceptions.
    I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted Coastie, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
    janelleyfishUser is Offline
    Basic Member
    Basic Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:329
    janelleyfish

    --
    28 Mar 2012 05:04 PM
    My husband is in the Coast Guard.  You can accompany him to where he is stationed, but he can be underway for a few months at a time (or more).  My husband is currently stationed on a cutter that alternates being in port for 2 months with being underway for 2 months - so he is gone for roughly 6 months of the year, but in 2 month increments.  There will be periods of separation, and it can range from days to weeks to months, depending on the unit he is stationed at.  You will also move approximately every 3-4 years, sometimes more or less, depending on the circumstances.  Let me know if you have any other questions.
    GuardianSpouseUser is Offline
    New Member
    New Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:70
    GuardianSpouse

    --
    28 Mar 2012 06:23 PM
    I am happy to help as well. I am a wife of 10 years and give a presentation each week before graduation to spouses and future spouses. It is at 9am on base. I would love for you to join us if you attend graduation, until then ask tons of questions.

    If he is on a cutter he will be gone approx 50% of the year. There are rates (jobs) that they are home most of the time though. Being a military wife does require strength and independance. You have to realize you have found true love and would rather have your spouse in your life for part of the time, instead of not at all.

    ~Tiffany
    KDUser is Offline
    Basic Member
    Basic Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:388
    KD

    --
    28 Mar 2012 06:26 PM
    Stickitout, make a list of all your toughest questions, and bring them on!
    Before you decide to make a life --or even consider a life--as a military spouse is the time to think this through, especially if you have doubts or are unfamiliar with the lifestyle.
    The Coast Guard is a different service from the Army, but many of the impacts on a spouse are similar.

    You are smart to be considering so carefully whether or not this is for you. So much better to thrash it out beforehand than to break hearts and complicate lives later.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
    Moderator / Trusted Member
    Forum Supreme!
    Forum Supreme!
    Send Private Message
    Posts:14367
    Old Guard2

    --
    28 Mar 2012 08:29 PM
    You have been given excellent answers. I'm going to add to it. It isn't easy, not at all. But the benefits, the friends, the 2nd family you will instantly have as a military spouse is incredible. The experience to go places, see things, do things you would probably never have imagined! I have lived in Alaska, Louisiana, Virginia, Oregon, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Texas... some of that was on my own, not as a military wife. But being a military wife gave me the strength to be able to go to some of those areas and know it will be ok and exciting! I got to walk on glaciers, I got to see Kodiak brown bears walk through my front yard literally, I rode on a mardi Gras float in New Orleans, I have been friends with non-rates all the way to Admirals and they are all great people! My husband had one of those rates that was home a lot more than he was gone and he has never been stationed aboard ship. When he did travel it was generally a while that he was gone... 5 weeks in Mexico, 7 weeks in Rio de Janiero, a couple of weeks in Paris, school after school after school... So he wasn't home all the time but that was ok. I was never alone. I had my very close 2nd family that knew exactly what I was going through. If everything was fine, we laughed, we joked, we had fun. It there was a rocky patch the other Coasties and spouses were always there ready to pick up whatever pieces were falling apart. When times were good, we celebrated together. When tragedy struck, and sadly I have had my fair share when I was a Coastie wife, we hung on that much tighter to each other and we cried together.

    You will be closer to military members/spouses that are friends then any other kind of friend. It truly, truly is family! But I agree with Janelle, Tiffany, KD... bring the questions on. You have all sorts of experiences to tap into. We'll all be happy to answer and we will be honest, even if it is an answer you might not want to hear. Best of luck with your decisions!

    Macie
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    mgold13User is Offline
    New Member
    New Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:5
    mgold13

    --
    09 Apr 2012 02:20 PM
    I dont think this was stated in any of the previous posts...but my boyfriend is joining the coastguard to be a rescue swimmer as well and will probably leave in October.We have been dating 2 years. He will be at basic for 2 months and then stationed somewhere else after. We have yet to meet with the recruiter and get more information but I was just wondering if anyone knew how being just a gf to a coastie differs from being married. We dont plan on getting married for a year or more and I was wondering if after basic gf's are allowed to live with or near the base. Is this frowned upon? We are very close and the 2 months for basic will be doable but both of us are wondering if its possible to live near or with eachother once training begins after basic.
    KDUser is Offline
    Basic Member
    Basic Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:388
    KD

    --
    09 Apr 2012 02:32 PM
    Hi, mgold13 ;this is a good place to get answers.

    As a girlfriend, you will not be recognized by the military. Your boyfriend will be treated simply as any other single non-rate straight out of boot camp. Depending on his first station, he may well be ordered to live aboard a cutter until he finishes his basic qualifications. If there are barracks available, he will then live there. If he chooses to live off-base when there is housing available for him, he will not be provided housing allowance, which can make for a considerable financial challenge.
    If you work too, you may be able to make that work once he is permitted to live where he pleases, but remember that he will travel a lot, and when he gets transferred, you will be on your own financially and logistically to follow, or not.
    You would not be permitted to live with him in base or military-leased housing if you are unmarried.

    Married couples are provided for differently; they will either have housing suitable for a couple assigned to them, or receive a housing allowance that takes the extra dependent into consideration. Married non-rates are not expected to 'live aboard'.

    Ask any other questions as you have them! Someone here will know, or know who does. Does your boyfriend have a ship date for basic training yet?
    mgold13User is Offline
    New Member
    New Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:5
    mgold13

    --
    10 Apr 2012 09:15 AM
    Sometime in October. We go and talk to the recruiter today. So if I were to follow and find my own housing not on base but close to base would he be able to come see me or vice versa when he had time? He wouldnt be able to stay at my place I expect but can he still visit? So no matter how many years he's in the service he cannot live with me in military leased housing or on base unless we are married. How long does it usually take to go through training and get stationed in a place you'll be at for a longer period of time?
    janelleyfishUser is Offline
    Basic Member
    Basic Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:329
    janelleyfish

    --
    10 Apr 2012 10:14 AM
    He can visit you, and he can even stay the night at your place if he's not on duty. You will not be able to live with him in base housing unless you're married. As a single (the military doesn't recognize girlfriends or fiances) non-rate out of boot camp, he will not get housing money (BAH). He will live on the cutter or in barracks. After boot camp (8 weeks), he will be stationed somewhere. He will remain at that unit until he goes to A-school. He will be able to put his name on an A-school wait list when he becomes fully qualified at that unit, which takes a minimum of 4 months (he has to wait at least 4 months to put his name on a list). After that, he stays at that unit until he gets orders for A-school, and the wait can vary from a few months to a few years, depending on which rate he decides on. After A-school, he will be assigned to a new unit, and after that will move approximately every 3-4 years (3 years for afloat units, 4 years for land units). There are some other circumstances that could decrease or increase his time at a unit, like advancing to a higher rank. I hope this helped. Let me know if you have any other questions.
    mgold13User is Offline
    New Member
    New Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:5
    mgold13

    --
    10 Apr 2012 11:00 AM
    He would go in as an E3 . And move up to an E4 after graduating basic.doors that make any differences
    mgold13User is Offline
    New Member
    New Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:5
    mgold13

    --
    10 Apr 2012 11:03 AM
    Correction. He wouldn't move to E4 after all the training.would that make a difference?
    janelleyfishUser is Offline
    Basic Member
    Basic Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:329
    janelleyfish

    --
    10 Apr 2012 11:06 AM
    He will be an E3 when he graduates boot camp. He will advance to E4 after completion of A-school (which could be anywhere from months to years after boot camp). It does not make a difference.
    mgold13User is Offline
    New Member
    New Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:5
    mgold13

    --
    10 Apr 2012 12:06 PM
    Thank you
    Old Guard2User is Offline
    Moderator / Trusted Member
    Forum Supreme!
    Forum Supreme!
    Send Private Message
    Posts:14367
    Old Guard2

    --
    10 Apr 2012 12:11 PM
    If you are NOT married you do NOT live in base housing or subsidized base housing. It wouldn't matter if he was an Admiral.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    GearsUser is Offline
    Trusted Member
    Moderator
    Moderator
    Send Private Message
    Posts:6880
    Gears

    --
    10 Apr 2012 12:46 PM
    Sometime in October.


    Don't depend on October as an estimation of when he is going to ship. On Oct 1st the new fiscal year starts, which resets the Recruiting Mission for the year. Until he's spoken with a recruiter and fully qualified (test, physical) his ship date is very much up in the air.

    Good Luck to you both!
    “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee
    FloridaGirlUser is Offline
    Trusted Member
    Veteran Member
    Veteran Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:2508
    FloridaGirl

    --
    10 Apr 2012 04:39 PM
    "As a single (the military doesn't recognize girlfriends or fiances) non-rate out of boot camp, he will not get housing money (BAH). He will live on the cutter or in barracks. " 

    I just want to add that he could very well get stationed somewhere that has no barracks and he has to get his own place on the economy with BAH. Then you can live there. There are very few places with barracks in the CG, but there are a lot of cutters and it's a very real chance that he could be living on his ship if he gets stationed to a cutter.

    (I couldn't get the quote bubble to work.  Oops.)
    Honor: if you need it defined, you don’t have it.
    janelleyfishUser is Offline
    Basic Member
    Basic Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:329
    janelleyfish

    --
    11 Apr 2012 06:33 AM
    If there are no barracks they could also place him in CG leased housing instead, in which she wouldn't be able to live with him. That's what they do at my husband's unit, and the stations around his unit. The cutter he is stationed on was being used by another crew for a few months, so single non-rates were placed in "bachelor housing" (which is where single non-rates at the adjacent station also live). They're assigned a roommate(s) and they do not get BAH. The lease and all bills are taken care of by the CG, not the individuals staying in the apartment. The CG made it very clear that non-authorized personnel can NOT live there, and they are strict about enforcing that policy. My husband lived in them for a few months before we were married, and then had to move out when we got married because he was no longer a bachelor, so he didn't qualify for bachelor housing. He started receiving BAH once we were married. It really all depends on what unit he is stationed at, and how the housing situation is there.
    janelleyfishUser is Offline
    Basic Member
    Basic Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:329
    janelleyfish

    --
    11 Apr 2012 06:35 AM
    I guess I forgot to mention... Normally, single non-rates at his unit live on the cutter. Once they're qualified, they can apply to be on the list for the bachelor housing I mentioned above. Once approved by the command, they do get to move off the cutter, but they don't get BAH to do so.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
    Moderator / Trusted Member
    Forum Supreme!
    Forum Supreme!
    Send Private Message
    Posts:14367
    Old Guard2

    --
    11 Apr 2012 07:35 AM
    Easy answer... If you are not married do not expect to live together. Do not expect to get any money to support each other. Do not expect to be able to have a "normal" family life. As a dating couple, in the eyes of the military, you don't count. Not for even one small moment in time. Also, you will be financially responsible for the lease should he transfer in 5 months and you have a 1 year lease, you are on the hook for the remainder of that lease. If you are dating but not ready to make the marriage commitment, do the long distance thing. It can get quite costly, quite quickly if you attempt to go this as a dating couple. Janelleyfish has been doing the long distance thing and she is a wife. We all have sacrifices to make. Sometimes you need to err on the side of caution.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    FloridaGirlUser is Offline
    Trusted Member
    Veteran Member
    Veteran Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:2508
    FloridaGirl

    --
    12 Apr 2012 03:09 AM
    Posted By janelleyfish on 11 Apr 2012 07:33 AM
    If there are no barracks they could also place him in CG leased housing instead, in which she wouldn't be able to live with him. That's what they do at my husband's unit, and the stations around his unit. The cutter he is stationed on was being used by another crew for a few months, so single non-rates were placed in "bachelor housing" (which is where single non-rates at the adjacent station also live). They're assigned a roommate(s) and they do not get BAH. The lease and all bills are taken care of by the CG, not the individuals staying in the apartment. The CG made it very clear that non-authorized personnel can NOT live there, and they are strict about enforcing that policy. My husband lived in them for a few months before we were married, and then had to move out when we got married because he was no longer a bachelor, so he didn't qualify for bachelor housing. He started receiving BAH once we were married. It really all depends on what unit he is stationed at, and how the housing situation is there.


    Also a very real possiblity.  There are so many different housing situations out there, and they really do vary by unit   I just wanted to mention that there is a possiblity of getting BAH as a non-rate because a good number of non-rates live that way, IME especially those attached to land units.  Hubs was on the Alert as a non-rate and got BAH but ONLY after he was qualified.  After boot, I was supposed to go to a small boat station that had barracks.  So I agree, very impossible to predict before hand.
    Honor: if you need it defined, you don’t have it.
    michellegoll2User is Offline
    New Member
    New Member
    Send Private Message
    Posts:1
    michellegoll2

    --
    13 Dec 2019 09:20 AM
    My boyfriend is in the Coast Guard, he's on a cutter. He leaves on Wednesday and won't be back until April. He feels bad that he hasn't gotten me anything for Christmas and feels bad that he won't be by me. How do I show him that I support him? I love him and he knows that even though he has to leave, he's doing his job and I'm proud of him.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
    Moderator / Trusted Member
    Forum Supreme!
    Forum Supreme!
    Send Private Message
    Posts:14367
    Old Guard2

    --
    13 Dec 2019 11:50 AM
    Keep up positive emails. Let him know Christmas can be celebrated at any date at all, when he gets home you'll have cookies and presents and he can have stories about his newest adventures. Christmas on the calendar is December 25th. Christmas in your heart is whenever you are with someone you love and celebrate it!
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    You are not authorized to post a reply.


    Active Forums 4.3



    Military clothing, gear, insignia, baseball caps and other quality items at SoldierCity


    Disclaimer

    This web site is a privately-owned and has not been underwritten or supported by the United States Coast Guard. 
    The views and opinions posted by members do not reflect the views and opinions of the United States Coast Guard.
    This is an informational site. Welcome aboard!

    Copyright 2010 by USCG.ORG
    United States Coast Guard Forums and Information  |  Terms Of Use  |  Privacy Statement