Rules? No, none that are written. However, if you behave badly or inappropriately it can reflect very poorly on your husband. It used to be in the military it was a 2 for 1 deal. It is not supposed to be that way any longer. However, if you are going out using drugs, driving drunk, running up debt to unacceptable amounts... that is going to make a command wonder what is the Coastie up to if he chooses a wife with behavior like this. Are you supposed to salute officers? No. You are not a military member. Should you walk up to the CO of the base, at work, while he is in uniform and say "Hey Joe, hows tricks?" I wouldn't suggest it. His rank deserves respect.
When Jim was a 2nd class petty officer I went to Anchorage from Kodiak. We had actually stayed at his Captain's house and both the Captain and his wife were absolutely wonderful people. Well the day I went to Anchorage I stopped by the office to say hello to Cap't A. I was told he was home for the day. So I went over to the house hoping to say hi, maybe his wife would be there as well. There was someone at the house, I said I just wanted to say hi and give my love to R (his wife) and I was going to leave. Capt A asked me to stay to have lunch with him and the other gentleman. Well, ok, thank you. Capt said talk to Bill while I make lunch. I was talking to Bill, nice guy. When Capt told us to come in the kitchen to eat. As we stood up, I assumed this man was probably an officer as well, I asked "I'm sorry sir, I didn't catch your last name." He said to me "Kime" Now I know you are too young & too green to know this... But I about fell down!!!! KIME!!!! I said "Excuse me, Admiral Kime? Commandant Select William Kime?" Yep! Admiral Kime, the soon to be Commandant of the CG was asking me what I thought of the CG and I proceeded to tell him! With respect of course but this was our next Commandant!! I really wanted to die of straight embarassment at that moment! So you never know the people you will meet in the CG or who you will become friends with or have a lunch with. You should always represent your spouse in a way that you will both be proud of. As I am sure you will, this was just an example of something in my life and experiences.