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Should I marry before boot camp?
Last Post 14 Apr 2014 11:34 PM by ebee. 4 Replies.
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Tasha77User is Offline
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Tasha77

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14 Apr 2014 10:07 AM
    Basically my fiancé wants to join and feels like there is nothing else he wants to do. The longest time in the two years we have been together that we spent apart was two weeks. So I'm worried about the time apart. We don't need to be together all the time but I would like to be around him as much as possible. So If we got married before boot camp can I go with him durning said time in boot camp then go with him where ever they station him in the end? Is marriage before boot camp a good way to be together if we both know we are ready for marriage no matter what may happen?
    BellsUser is Offline
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    Bells

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    14 Apr 2014 11:00 AM
    Married or not you can't go with him to boot camp. Once he gets orders if you are married and as long as all of your stuff is together it can be moved. If you are not married then there is probably around a 80% possibility he won't live on the economy, he could be living on a ship or in the barracks. If you are married then you could live together in either on base housing or get an apartment in the economy.
    Take what you like and leave the rest behind.
    BellsUser is Offline
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    Bells

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    14 Apr 2014 11:01 AM
    There are very few billets where he wouldn't be able to take you if your married. Such as Dutch Harbor, AK
    Take what you like and leave the rest behind.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    14 Apr 2014 11:21 AM
    You will not attend boot camp with him. That is 8 weeks he will be required to do alone. The communication during that time is difficult. Pen & paper letters, save a few phone calls, one during week 5, a few during weeks 6 & 7 (on Saturday, if earned) and then graduation on Friday of 8 weeks. So no, you cannot go with him. He is there for the most intense 8 weeks of his life up to that point. He will be pushed harder than he has ever been.

    After that, then you are free to go with your husband. There are only a handful of places you could not go with him so don't even worry about those at this time. If he is on a cutter, you had better be prepared and ready to accept that you will be apart. My son is gone for 3 months, home for 3 months. My daughter-in-law has a great life with him and she does amazingly well without him when he is underway. She moved from her family in Connecticut with him to Washington state. I was worried about her. She proved all my worries wrong. So you have to be ready to accept that part of military life. If you think you can't, you need to sit down and the 2 of you need to have a very serious, very frank, very blunt conversation.

    If you are ready to get married, go for it. Nothing I can say would change your mind even if I thought it was a horrible idea. Which I don't if you are both ready to accept that commitment. But if there is even the slightest doubt, wait.

    Remeber boot camp is only 8 weeks. If you have the rest of your lives together, 8 weeks is a drop in the bucket of time.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    ebeeUser is Offline
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    ebee

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    14 Apr 2014 11:34 PM
    If you are already planning to get married, I would do so before rather than after boot camp. First off, it will be much easier to plan/coordinate a wedding (even if it's just a few friends and family) before he gets to his new unit. And second, if you are married before boot camp you will get to move with him to his first unit, and you will do so on the Coast Guard's dime.

    Like Old Guard said, though, don't get married just to get the benefits. Do not rush the process. But if you're already planning on it and it's just a matter of timing, then I believe before boot camp is the much better option.
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