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A school and marriage
Last Post 20 Feb 2015 11:50 PM by ebee. 2 Replies.
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ab199User is Offline
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ab199

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26 Jan 2015 01:31 PM
    My fiancé is in the coast guard and we are getting married in June. He in a nonrated and has finally decided which rate he wants to go (OS) and he would most likely leave in April for a school. So we either postpone our wedding until August (or do courthouse before april and reception august) or he waits until June we have our scheduled wedding and he possibly leaves the next week for a school. He isn't happy at his current station, wants to advance and support us better and go through a school as soon as possible. Though he wants to do this right so he says we can wait though I know that doesn't make him happy. We are both being stubborn in our own ways, we have everything planned for our june wedding and want to stick with that since that was a commitment we made. but at the same time, he's being stubborn because he wants to move forward and go to a school and it is a career and also a commitment. so just kind of looking for advice, or insight or for someone to tell me if it's wrong for him to wait? or something else? thank you!
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    26 Jan 2015 02:52 PM
    Does he have everything completed to go to the class in April? He EPME, security clearances, all of the necessary stuff? That is the first step. He might not make that class if that other stuff isn't done. If he is in class in April, you won't be getting married in June, he will still be in Petaluma at school. Telling him to delay advancing for a wedding... well, unless you have tons of money down on everything and no possible way to get refunds... That's not a good idea. I would agree with the courthouse now, reception later thing. This way you will also be on his orders to his new duty station out of A School. If he is in the CG for the long haul, he wants to advance. If this was just a one and done tour, then he had plans on getting out... the answer might be a bit different. But I wouldn't put my professional career on hold for my personal life.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    ebeeUser is Offline
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    ebee

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    20 Feb 2015 11:50 PM
    Honestly if you know you are going to get married, I would consider doing it before he goes to school so that you can be included on his orders to his next unit. Otherwise, you guys will be stuck footing the bill of moving you and your stuff to his next unit. I normally wouldn't recommend getting married for the benefits, but there are honestly some times when it makes sense so long as all other things are created equal (you were planning to get married anyway, you are both comfortable with the situation, etc).

    However if either of you has any hesitation, then just wait and have your wedding as you planned. Just keep in mind that your plans could be affected by his A School dates.
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