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NEW ENLISTMENT OATH
Last Post 14 Mar 2008 02:04 PM by macmac. 19 Replies.
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macmacUser is Offline
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macmac

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10 Mar 2008 02:51 PM
    U.S. COAST GUARD ENLISTMENT OATH
    "I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES COAST GUARD because I know being in the real military scares me. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. I understand that atleast twice a day, someone will refer to me a member of the Air Force or Navy, and when I correct them, they will question my military status. I will work on boats the size of kayaks and small yachts during the worst of natures storms, and recieve no thanks or notice form the public. I will fly in helos into the eye of the storm to rescue people dumber then rocks, and then be heckled by the same people when I bust them for transporting drugs two months later.! I will prevent thousands of gallons of pollution, but be accused of impeding the economy when I won't allow vessels to pour oil into the ocean. I will be the red-headed step child to all of the other services, although I know I got the better deal. All of my equipment will be discarded Navy property. I will use most of my time in the Coast Guard to take college classes, and perfect my web surfing abilities, then complain that I work too much. I will perfect avoiding PT at all costs, and do my best to attend training that will give me a great competitive edge in the career field of my choice, making retention efforts of the Coast Guard pointless. I will come in contact with so many pollutants during my tenure, I will glow in the dark for the rest of my natural life and refer to myself as "salty" because of it. I will do my best to work 8 to 3, with a two hour lunch, on normal days, and have my pager and cell phone surgically attached, SO HELP ME GOD.
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    ltateUser is Offline
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    10 Mar 2008 03:57 PM
    That is so dang hilarious, mac. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! Thanks for passing that along. I'm definitely going forward that on to my kids. They're gonna love it.



    Laurie
    Coast Guard Mom
    SN Nikole Tetreault   CGC Hickory  Homer AK
    SNOS Danyell Tetreault   CGC Boutwell  Alameda CA


    jen899193User is Offline
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    10 Mar 2008 04:39 PM
    very nice for a monday laugh!!

    thanks for sharing!!!

    definately passing it on~seeing how
    britt is always complaining about those
    "pollutants"!!


    Jen
    Proud Coastguard Mom
    SN Church, Brittney R.
    USCGC Alex Haley, Kodiak, AK
    "Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." ~Benjamin Franklin
     
     
     
     

    ~Jen~
    YarboroughUser is Offline
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    10 Mar 2008 05:07 PM
     Too Funny, needed that laugh today. Don't care what others think, I know what our Coasties are all about...doing a great job!!!!


    Teresa, Proud Mom of SN Brett Butler
    "A" School, Yorktown, Virginia

    Teresa, Proud Mom of BM Brett Butler
    Station Wachapreague, Virginia
    macmacUser is Offline
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    10 Mar 2008 05:35 PM
    http://www.strategypage.com/humor/a...472723.asp

    theres one for every service......pretty funny har har
    macmacUser is Offline
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    10 Mar 2008 05:37 PM
    i think this one tops them all.....

    US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
    "I, (pick a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh....high-and-tight.... grunt... cammies....kill....fix bayonets....charge....slash....dig....burn....blowup....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....sailors wives.....air strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....Ooorah Gunny....grenades...women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!"

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    cgboundUser is Offline
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    10 Mar 2008 10:46 PM
    Seriously, Deford...get to work. lol
    proudmomUser is Offline
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    11 Mar 2008 01:37 AM
    You know when I read this it was bitter/sweet for me. My husband was Navy,brother-in-law Army,and nephew Marines. All of them expect my husband have made fun of him I know how hard he works and how much danger he is in at times. I get so made at them. I do not care what anybody says about the Coast Guard I am very proud of my son and all the men and women who are serving.

     
    Proud Mom of SA Ketcham Bayfield Wisconsin.smile
     
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    11 Mar 2008 11:19 AM
    i am not trying to be offensive, if i offended you i will take it down. i know how hard we work too. just a little humor to share.
    jen899193User is Offline
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    11 Mar 2008 01:35 PM
    macmac~

    you are fine~i think we all understood you were making
    light of your job. sometimes it is necessary to be able
    to maintain a sense of humor. especially when things
    are either stressful or even just boring!!! hang in there!
    if you can't poke fun at yourself~you will find yourself
    in trouble along the way! sounds to me like you
    are settling in and adjusting well!!!

    the jokes are funny!
    keep them coming! :):)


    Jen
    Proud Coastguard Mom
    SN Church, Brittney R.
    USCGC Alex Haley, Kodiak, AK
    "Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." ~Benjamin Franklin
     
     
     
     

    ~Jen~
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    11 Mar 2008 01:53 PM
    I agree with Jen. It's meant to be a joke and we need to have some laughs along the way! Otherwise, we'd all go nuts worrying about our loved ones. And if you read the other oaths on that site you mentioned, they're just as crazy so it's not like the CG was being picked on or anything. You're doing a great job, macmac! Hang in there!



    Laurie
    Coast Guard Mom
    SN Nikole Tetreault   CGC Hickory  Homer AK
    SNOS Danyell Tetreault   CGC Boutwell  Alameda CA


    proudmomUser is Offline
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    11 Mar 2008 02:06 PM
    No the joke was funny lot's of people don't understand their jobs and I know the hard work they do. That is why I said it was bitter/sweet . I realize it was a joke and no you have not done anything wrong.It just makes me think of how mean people can be about things. Sorry if I made you feel bad.It was funny. Have a good day.smile
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    11 Mar 2008 04:18 PM
    That was hilarious!!! I LOVE it! LOL Thanks, i needed a good laugh!
    Destinee


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    11 Mar 2008 05:37 PM
    yes...very funny indeed. I already got my first..."oh", the coast guard, when I was at the market and told the man behind me i was leaving in the morning to attend my daughter's grad. from bootcamp. F... you old man......


    Katie
     
    Proud Mother of:
     
    SR Phillips, Allison C-179

     
     
     
                            Katie
             New Smyrna Beach, Florida
     
     
     
            
     
               
    proudmomUser is Offline
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    13 Mar 2008 01:16 AM
    This Coastie Mom says AMEN.yeah
    ltateUser is Offline
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    13 Mar 2008 11:30 AM
    I totally respect where you're coming from but my kids thought it was hilarious, too. Maybe we just have a weird sense of humor in our family, I don't know, but I'm grateful we still have one. My oldest daughter has been in the Coast Guard almost two years....been through so much and I've been right there with her, at least it feels that way....and if we weren't able to laugh once in awhile, like I said in an earlier post, we would have gone completely bonkers by now. My kids know how it is, though....they've heard all the snide remarks about the Coast Guard....but they don't seem to care much. They're proud of the work they do and what they've accomplished so far. That's all that matters to them and to me as well.



    Laurie
    Coast Guard Mom
    SN Nikole Tetreault   CGC Hickory  Homer AK
    SNOS Danyell Tetreault   CGC Boutwell  Alameda CA


    <!-- Edit -->

    Last Edited : 3/13/2008 9:58:27 AM GMT

    kricketUser is Offline
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    13 Mar 2008 04:18 PM
    Man oh man, people need to lighten up! For goodness sake, it was meant to be humorous and it was funny and cute and very light hearted. Macmac, you keep on typing, I thought it was funny. My family has been a coastie family for years and years and we have played around like this forever. My retired coastie hubby is full of stuff like this, razzing amongst the services, etc. He could spout things off that would make you hurl in laughter, and all of his shipmates were right there with him.Believe me, he has his military bearing, served his country with honor and respect..........but goodness, you can still have fun!!!
    The 5 branches of the military are all as good as the other with the same devotion and duty to the good ol' USA. And thank goodness we live in such a country where we can display humor and understand what the difference is between respect and dis-respect. Some people just cannot decipher the difference between the two and thats what makes the world go round and round. 
    You rock, macmac!!


    Proud Coastie Mom and Chief's Wife!

    Proud Coastie Mom and Chief's Wife!
    jen899193User is Offline
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    13 Mar 2008 04:58 PM
    i second that kricket!!!!

    it was hilarious! i did follow
    the link for the web-site...and read all of
    the enlistment oaths. i was rolling on the floor!
    and i did forward them on to friends~a few retired
    marines~they had a good chuckle over it and my
    husband~who was navy!!!!

    we are all aware of the lack of recognition the coast guard
    often receives. but like with anything else in life~i believe
    you have to search for the humor in any situation. if life
    is always taken so seriously~well it makes for a long road!!!
    and of course, always being able to laugh at ones self....
    well a little humility and humor go a long way!

    good to hear someone agree kricket!!!
    thanks!


    Jen
    Proud Coastguard Mom
    SN Church, Brittney R.
    USCGC Alex Haley, Kodiak, AK
    "Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." ~Benjamin Franklin
     
     
     
     

    ~Jen~
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    14 Mar 2008 12:26 PM
    Damage...a nickel's worth of free advice from a fellow Coastie...lighten up. Seriously. Not for my sake, or the sake of anyone else on this forum, but for your OWN sake. If you don't learn to laugh at everything in life, including Death, then it's going to be a miserable ride for you. Not trying to be mean or offensive, just trying to let you know that you'll be much happier if you can laugh.

    mac..thanks for posting the website! I've actually been looking all over for these. Someone emailed them to me way back when I first joined, and I had lost them since than. I appreciate it! These always make me smile, so help me Chesty PULLER! :P


    katie...I had a similar experience when I first joined.  Some old codger tried to tell me the joke about Coasties having to be six foot tall so they can wade ashore after the boat sinks.  I replied, "Yep, and after I wade ashore, I jump in the helo and fly out to save YOUR sorry ass!"  It went over well.  He was amused.  I've never seen someone's face turn purple when they were that amused before.


    The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.
    -- Friedrich Nietzsche
    The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
    -- Walter Bagehot

    <!-- Edit -->

    Last Edited : 3/14/2008 6:30:35 AM GMT

    The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.
    -- Friedrich Nietzsche
    The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
    -- Walter Bagehot
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    14 Mar 2008 02:04 PM
    Damage, sorry if THAT offends you. if you were stationed where i am, you would need some humor to steam off some stress. its all in good fun. who cares what other people think about the coast guard, you and I know what we do, thats all that matters.
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