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Boyfriends going to boot camp ! Need advice!
Last Post 19 Feb 2015 09:18 AM by Gears. 2 Replies.
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AmandabarbieriUser is Offline
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Amandabarbieri

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18 Feb 2015 11:07 PM
    So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now. I'm only 22 and he's 24! He's leaving for boot camp in July and I don't know how to handle it! I've never been away for that long. And I'm scared for my future because it's changing so fast. He's been talking about getting married before he leaves but I feel like I'm not ready for that yet! I know You get good benefits if your married and I do want all those benefits. I just am so afraid! I don't know what my parents will think, I don't know if I would be handle all of this at once! 

    Any advice is appreciated!!
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    19 Feb 2015 06:40 AM
    I don't generally give answers like this but in this case I'm making an exception... Do not marry him. You are not ready for this at all. If you use words like afraid and scared and not knowing how to handle, you may be 22 but you are far younger mentally. If you can't sit down and say to your parents "Ok, here's the deal... What do you think about option A option B option C...." then you are too immature to handle military life. You have to be able to run with anything that is thrown at you. This includes extended time apart, sudden changes to arrival and departure times, sudden changes to vacation plans made far in advance, a sudden stop in the middle of a vacation because he has to get back to his unit forthwith. If you feel you aren't ready, you really aren't ready. You will end up back at home wit your parents and a disappointed husband and a dissolved marriage.

    This life is WONDEFUL! You don't get marry into it for benefits. It is exciting. It is heartbreaking. It is adventure. It is boring. It is friends and family. It is lonely. You have to be able to adapt to all of those situations, emotions, and anything else thrown at you. Believe me, if you aren't saying we're getting married, yeah I'm nervous but I'm thrilled and this is going to be awesome... You aren't ready. Let him go to boot camp and see how you handle 8 weeks. Then let him go to his first station, let him do what he needs to do to cement his career. See how you manage with a long distance relationship. Maybe then you'll realize the life is really not for you and you'll break up. Maybe then you'll realize it isn't as terrifying as you are thinking and you can plan your dream wedding and have a great life.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    GearsUser is Offline
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    Gears

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    19 Feb 2015 09:18 AM
    +1 Oldguard

    If you're not ready to get married, don't. Let him settle into his new life, go visit, and see where things go. If the relationship dissolves it won't be the end of the world.
    “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee
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