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Coastie couple looking to be together asap
Last Post 31 Oct 2015 07:06 PM by magmam. 8 Replies.
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inlovewithacoastie2015User is Offline
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inlovewithacoastie2015

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28 Oct 2015 11:23 PM
    I'm a new coast guard girlfriend. My boyfriend and I are trying to be together as soon as possible. He graduates bootcamp december 11th. he will more than likely be stationed in texas but not sure yet. We want to wait a couple years to get married, but we hope to have off base housing for him, or that i could find some place to rent near his base if he cant get off base housing, so we could see each other at least when he is off duty. How possible is this? Rules? Personal experiences?
    BellsUser is Offline
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    Bells

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    29 Oct 2015 01:57 AM
    How do you know he will most likely be stationed in Texas?

    That's impossible unless he's already received orders.

    It's pretty unknown whether or not he'll get off base housing. If it's available, he's going to live in it
    Take what you like and leave the rest behind.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    29 Oct 2015 10:16 AM
    I'm really trying to not be rude but... if you have such an amazing crystal ball that you are sure he will be somewhere in Texas, can you tell me the lottery numbers tonight?! You have no idea, neither does he where he might be stationed. He can be in Maine, Hawaii, Guam, Alaska... The options are enormous. If his graduation date is Dec 11 he started boot on October 20th. He is nowhere close to having received his orders yet or even filled out his dream sheet at this point. If he requests D8, which Texas is a part of, he could be anywhere from Mobile, Alabama to Southern Minnesota and a whole lotta places in between. That's one of the largest districts in the CG.

    If he is on a ship, he will live there. If there are barracks, he will live there. If there is government leased housing, he will live there. All of those options don't include you. I would not bank on him getting BAH and living on the economy. It is a free country and you are allowed to move about it at will. However, military clauses in leases will not apply to you. So you follow him, just for giggles let's say Houston, to Houston and he can't live off base. So you rent an apartment, You sign a 1-year lease. In 3 months he goes to A School, in either California or Virginia. You don't go, you have 9 months left on your lease. After 10 weeks at A School, he gets orders to Kodiak, Alaska. You don't go, you still have 6.5 months on your lease. I understand the desire to be together. You need to look at the reality of being together. It might not be the best idea. If your relationship isn't strong enough to survive a long distance thing for a while, then it isn't strong enough to survive a military lifestyle. There will be a lot of separation. It isn't that difficult, you just have to accept it and learn to work with it.

    Personal experience... I was MARRIED to my Coastie and he was stationed in Kodiak, Alaska. We lived in NJ when he went to boot camp. I was not able to go with him right away. He went in October of 1985. I joined him in November of 1986. 13 months later. We managed. You have to consider 1985/86 was long before cell phones, facebook, instant message, texting. It was before answering machines. If he wasn't home, the phone just rang. We relied on snail mail and paid exorbitant phone bills, no calling plans then either. We managed. Second personal experience... My son and daughter-in-law were MARRIED. They were in Boston together, she was finishing college. He went to A School in California. She moved home to Connecticut after her graduation. He got orders to Seattle. He went, she had to stay in Connecticut for a while. They were over a year apart on opposite coasts. She moved out to Seattle eventually, was there for 2 years. Now they are together at his next station in New York City.

    You want what the military isn't going to strongly support. As far as the military is concerned, any branch not just the Coast Guard, girlfriends don't exist and have no bearing on the military members status. If you aren't ready to get married, and by no means am I encouraging that if you aren't ready, then you need to accept this as the new normal. It doesn't mean you break up, it doesn't mean you don't still love each other. It does mean you learn to adapt and live life as a couple in different geographical locations until such time that you are married and you can join him. It sounds rough, I know. But that's the way it is.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    pepperdoggieUser is Offline
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    29 Oct 2015 12:49 PM
    My son requested district 11 (California) and he ended up in Kodiak, Alaska! You go where the Coast Guard needs you. After "A" school you have a much better chance of getting what you want. After Kodiak, he chose (and got) Great Lakes, Chicago...and then chose New York as his next station. So he pretty much worked his way across the country. Along the way, he married his high school sweetheart, but there was a lot of waiting involved. Good luck with your Coastie, and keep us posted.
    magmamUser is Offline
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    29 Oct 2015 06:54 PM
    Old Guard..just curious where did your son end up settling? Is he on SI?
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    29 Oct 2015 07:50 PM
    He is on Staten Island. They live in housing. They like it. Danielle is working in Brooklyn. They are happy.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    CoastieMomJPAUser is Offline
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    CoastieMomJPA

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    31 Oct 2015 03:06 PM
    My son went to boot camp on October 20th. Forgive me these basic questions. How long do they stay at their first district? How do they get assigned to A school? Thanks for any advice.
    BellsUser is Offline
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    Bells

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    31 Oct 2015 05:27 PM
    They'll request to put their name on the a-school list 4 months after they get to their first unit as long as they are fully qualified. They then will wait on the list until they are sent to go. Could be a few months to a couple years depending on the school and wait time.
    Take what you like and leave the rest behind.
    magmamUser is Offline
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    31 Oct 2015 07:06 PM
    glad to hear they are settled in and doing well!
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