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Girlfriend is heavily considering joining CG...
Last Post 17 Jul 2016 05:26 PM by nightjar90. 7 Replies.
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nightjar90User is Offline
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nightjar90

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15 Jul 2016 01:26 PM
    My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years, and live together in Alaska. We are currently college students, with about a year left each. However, my girlfriend just informed me yesterday that she's talked to a recruiter and wants to join the CG within a few months.

    I am feeling pretty overwhelmed by this news. I support her decision, but I have a lot of questions and concerns about what this would mean for our relationship.

    As students, we're not financially stable enough for marriage. Our original plan was to get married in maybe two years, when we both would have jobs. Because we aren't married, I know I would not be included for housing... How difficult would it be to live together?

    How much or how little could I  expect to see of her  while she's in the Coast Guard?

    Also, we are an LGBT couple, does this affect things at all?
    m1ashooterUser is Offline
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    m1ashooter

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    15 Jul 2016 02:08 PM
    Separation from loved ones is a fact of service life. So that is one impact you must be prepared for. It is very hard to say how much or how little you will see of her as there are many different types of assignments and locations in the Coast Guard. If she gets assigned to a Medium Endurance Cutter you can expect her as a rule of thumb to patrol for 60 days then in port for 60 days and then the cycle repeats itself for just one example.

    I can't comment on any LGBT concerns as I don't know the new rules. I recommend that you do some google research to find out. I don't believe that is an issue.

    It could be very difficult to live together if your are not married. Some assignments require those below the rank of E4 to live on board their ship or in a barracks. If married then one collects quarters allowance or they are placed in married housing if they are available.

    If you are committed to each other then I would recommend you get married while she is going through the recruiting process.

    It is also highly unlikely, but not impossible that you will be able to remain in the Great Land while she is on her first assignment.

    I left Alaska 23 years ago and still miss it. We did a tour at Eielson AFB.

    Keep asking questions as knowledge is power.

    nightjar90User is Offline
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    15 Jul 2016 05:17 PM
    Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I would love to stay here in Alaska, it really is a beautiful place. I am willing to move if need be, though housing sounds challenging.

    I do have another question. One major reason my girlfriend has chosen the CG is because she's suffered from depression for about the last 8 months. She believes that the Coast Guard will give her the right change of pace and something to focus on. She was receiving therapy (though no medication) for it earlier this year at our college clinic.

    Is this something that would disqualify her? I wasn't sure based on what I've read.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    16 Jul 2016 01:16 AM
    The depression very well could disqualify her. I can't say absolutely. She would need to provide her medical records to MEPS. They're the ones making that determination.

    If you only have a year or so left of college, stick it out. For you. If she wants to and is offered the opportunity to enlist, that's terrific. If you are worth waiting for, she will. If she is worth waiting for, you will. I won't say long distance is easy. There are days it can truly suck. But it isn't impossible. My ex was stationed in Kodiak, I lived in NJ. We were 13 months on opposite coasts before I finally moved to Alaska. My son was in Boston, met the love of his life. She was finishing her doctorate. He was transferred to Seattle. They're very happily married now but they waited over a year and managed on opposite coasts. So it can be done, it is all the time. You just need to have the ability to make that work for both of you.

    I do believe LGBT is given the same rights and considerations as straight people. If you aren't married, you don't exist in the eyes of the military. If you are married, welcome to the family, we want to keep you and your spouse together. A recruiter can help clear up those answers. But as girlfriend or fiance, you have no rights and privileges. Best of luck to both of you, college, military, wherever you go from here. I wish you only success.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    nightjar90User is Offline
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    16 Jul 2016 11:45 AM
    Thank you for the information and advice! My girlfriend talked to someone who was knowledgable about the CG, and the depression may not be an issue. Her depression's pretty mild, and the therapy will likely just show up as "counseling sessions" since this was at a small college clinic.

    My girlfriend and I had a long discussion about our future plans, and I believe we've resolved the issue. She is willing to wait a year or so until she enlists to give enough time for me to complete my schooling, and for us to get married.

    I know we'll have more challenges in the future, but I feel much more prepared now. Looking forward to joining the Coast Guard community, you seem like a supportive group.
    m1ashooterUser is Offline
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    16 Jul 2016 03:40 PM
    FYI at times its very hard to enlist into the Coast Guard. Right now they are hiring. A recruiter will be able to better tell you how many new recruits are needed for next FY if they have the data yet. It can also be a lengthy process if any waivers are required. Include that into your plans.
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    16 Jul 2016 09:32 PM
    M1shooter I saw on the news the other right that unemployment is really low right now. It's 3.7% in my state and 4.7% nationwide. When unemployment is low, hardly anyone joins the military. When it is high is when everyone joins. I highly doubt it likes what it you use to be like just by looking at the A school list. Most rates are now 0-3 months wait. When I joined the average was a year to get to boot camp and 2-4 years waiting for A school. Its not like that anymore and probably won't be until the next recession which won't be for a few more years. I think she is fine to wait a year. I believe now you can get to boot camp 60 days after MEPS pretty easily if your medically sound. It's not nearly as hard as it was when we were in a recession and unemployment was high.
    nightjar90User is Offline
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    nightjar90

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    17 Jul 2016 05:26 PM
    Thanks for the input, it's definitely something to consider. My girlfriend will be talking to the recruiter later today as well, and is going to ask him about it.
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