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Dealing with Reversion
Last Post 21 Jan 2018 04:11 AM by jjordan864. 13 Replies.
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HeronnUser is Offline
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Heronn

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29 Aug 2016 07:39 AM
    For anyone going through the stress of dealing with son or daughter in basic who is having setbacks and challenges, I'd like to share some our families experience. My son entered basic on June 14, 2016. Only a few weeks prior he had graduated from High School. At 18 he had a lot of growing up to do and entered basic as a quite, naive, fresh to the outside world, who lived in is own bubble of friends in a small rural town. He had no work experience or boss and I never had a reason to yell at him as he was a good kid who did what what he was told, got good grades and was in athletics. But he lacked self confidence. Coming from 9 years of Air Force experience, I knew basic would be a challenge for him as it would any other young man or woman going in. What I didn't anticipate was him having such a hard time getting through the mental challenges and adapting to the stress. He came in physically fit and motivated but he had to build inner strength. We got our first phone call July 5 stating he was getting reverted form B-193 to C-193. No big deal I told him. Roll with it kid it is only a week setback. Two weeks later we get a second call advising he was pushed back to D-193, put into RAMP, failed RAMP and now in Echo-193. He also was advised he had to go in front of a Commanders Board and state his case to stay in the USCG and at Cape May. Coming from the Air Force you had to be a major screw up to get kicked out of Basic or you just gave up. Anyone whose gone through basic of some type knows they play head games. Was this a head game they were playing with my son? I had also read that 3 reversions was your limit. My son stated over and over again he was not going to give up. If he was leaving Cape May it was because they gave up on him not because he gave up. We encouraged him a great deal through letters and let him know we were behind him success or failure. I'm proud to say he has passed all they have given to him and even though he took an 8 week basic training and turned it into 12 weeks he is graduating this Friday. He sounds like a new young man with self confidence and proud. So if you are going through reversion hell with you son or daughter don't give up on them. Keep writing encouraging letters. If your kid is motivated the USCG will see that and will give them a number of chances. The USCG wants your son or daughter to succeed but they gotta earn it. 
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    29 Aug 2016 09:27 AM
    Absolutely awesome!!! Many congratulations to you and your Coastie. Anyone can do boot camp in 8 weeks, it is the special Coastie that takes 9, 10, 12 weeks. I hope graduation is a huge moment of pride for all of you. Job well done.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    m1ashooterUser is Offline
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    m1ashooter

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    30 Aug 2016 09:45 AM
    I was feeling the pain for you and your son as I was reading this until the end and I now have tears in my eyes. You are correct when you finally see him he will look different and act different. I have a 19 year old who is on his first deployment. I had the opportunity to video chat with him and saw the pride in his face and his speech for his ship and shipmates.

    Please pass on my families congratulations to him. Where is he headed?
    HeronnUser is Offline
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    Heronn

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    30 Aug 2016 05:14 PM
    He is now excited to be headed to Cheboygan Michigan to be on board the Coast Guard Cutter Mackinaw and be part of the long standing USCG mission of ice breaking on the Great Lakes.
    GearsUser is Offline
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    Gears

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    03 Sep 2016 09:02 AM
    I know an EMC on the Mackinaw. I hear they're a great crew, he'll be well taken care of.
    “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee
    LGainesUser is Offline
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    15 Jan 2018 10:19 AM
    Heronn,

    Your story sounds identical to mine; however, at this moment I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Just like you, I served in the USAF and so did my sons father. My sons father then joined the Coast Guard after 4 years in the Air Force so my son has been a part of the military life since birth. My son had always had a hard time with attention to detail, his confidence and being very introverted and recluse. He left for boot camp November 28th, 2017 and was to complete training January 19th, 2018. We got the first call concerning reversion after week 3. Had something to do with not addressing an officer correctly. We encouraged him to keep going and that one week more was doable. We then received the second call following RAMP on week 5. Feeling a bit discouraged, we still encouraged him to keep going and push forward. We got the third call yesterday stating that he was placed in RHE (Regiment Hold Element) and not much detail regarding that. He sounded beat down, mentally drained, depressed and ready to give up. He stated that he had to wait until the next company to form if they would allow him to stay. That would make it nearly 4 months in basic training! As much as I would like for him to try one last time, I feel as though it's a lost cause and he's just not cut out for it. I have been crying my eyes out all night as I've been thinking about his mental state, next steps and how I've failed him as a mother. My question is, did your son go to RHE and if so, what were the determining factors that allowed him to stay? I've been reading numerous post and everyone is stating that it's very difficult to fail boot camp other than for medical reasons and I'm wondering what this says about my son overall. This has been one of the toughest things I've had to deal with in my life.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    15 Jan 2018 10:42 AM
    Mom to mom. Reverted Coastie Mom to Reverted Coastie Mom. You did nothing. This was not your failure. Nor is it his. Not everyone is cut out for military life, that's just a fact. Sure, it is hard seeing your child go for something, having that pride in himself and that pride you feel and then it just doesn't work out. There is no shame in that at all. If I succeeded at everything I tried, I wouldn't be on this forum. I would be a successful, rich Marine Biologist. But that didn't happen, move on to the next chapter. Dry your tears, they won't help; write our son a letter, tell him how proud you are of him that he tried and if he is allowed to continue to try, you support him 100%! But if the CG decides that he is not ready and will not allow him to continue, you still support him 100% and there is obviously another path he is destined to take. If he comes home, you'll all figure it out together.

    There aren't hundreds but there are quite a few that wash out of boot camp. It happens. Please don't let yourself feel so deflated and so bad. Just give that young man the love and support he needs and he'll make it in the CG or he'll make it doing something else. Just keep letters to him positive, keep them supportive. Don't say WHEN you get out, say IF. Don't say I'll still love you anyway, say I'll always love you. Best of luck. It isn't easy, I understand.

    Also, when he comes home, make it or not, he might not want to talk about it. Don't force him to and if you see someone pushing him, run block and tell that person to knock it the hell off! Be a protective momma bear. If he is feeling down, don't let anyone else drag him further. You lift him up, you make him feel good about himself and together forge a new path. Hang tough.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    hipondUser is Offline
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    15 Jan 2018 05:06 PM
    Greetings,
    I have a son with similar situation. He called last week that the graduation date is pushed back due to his injury. In other words, he will not be able to finish the training unless he gets better. The explanation of his injury was vague, not like Doctor explaining to us what to expect and when he will be healed. I asked for the injury status report (used to be LOD) but was told that Coast Guard will not give out recruit's information. Needless to say, we have no right to know what caused the injury and what is going to happen to him. Is this right? Can I at least get the medical report on his injury status? I rather bring him home and take care of the injury like all the parents would do.

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    Old Guard2

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    15 Jan 2018 06:45 PM
    No, you have no right to the medical records or have your questions answered. He is an adult and will take care of himself. If he can stay there, it is better. If he comes home, then he might not ever get back into boot camp. I have no idea what an LOD is, the Coast Guard won't know and really won't care either. I would never opt to bring my child home. He is getting great care, he is fully covered with the insurance he has and he will let you know what's gaining when he can, if he so desires. I think if I demanded answers and wanted medical reports and made myself a nuisance to my son's command, I would probably be left in the dark permanently. Let him handle this, he is old enough to fight for his country, he is old enough to figure out an injury.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    m1ashooterUser is Offline
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    15 Jan 2018 10:18 PM
    Parents stand tall and be proud for the children you raised. Only 23% of our nations youth are qualified to enlist. Of these only 1% raise their right had and take the oath. If they come home, do not them them feel sorry for themselves. They have much to be proud of. They at least tried. 99% of their peers did not.
    hipondUser is Offline
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    hipond

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    15 Jan 2018 11:50 PM
    I do agree with you; he is old enough and let the system takes care itself. However, as a guardian, I'm concern about his medical condition that can have lifelong affect. That is why I'm worried and asked for the report. I've graduated from horrific basic training back then; some recruits killed themselves or become nuts and sent home. Needless to say, the country lost some good men and women. Most of us veterans would agree that basic training does not filter out the screw ups entirely. In other words, the system does not always work like it should. That is why I do ask question the authority who runs the system. Keeping us in the dark will not prevent further inquiries. The legitimate inquiries will create many milestones shattering ideologies from status quos with ancient thinking, and tactics. By the way "LOD" stands for “Line Of Duty”.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    18 Jan 2018 07:34 AM
    You can have all the medical records you wish to peruse once he is home and carries them with him. Sorry, but he is an adult. Maybe you've heard of this little thing going around now called HIPPA. They aren't telling anyone anything. You might not like it but as former military yourself, you should understand it. Mom's and Dad's don't come in seabags. Sorry if you aren't happy with it but that's the way it is. Your son can tell you whatever he wants, when he is able to call. But as far as you calling to talk to the docs, I'm sure this isn't life threatening or would have been called in as next of kin. It is an injury sustained in boot camp, happens all the time, they are healed and sent back to another company or they are healed and released to go home. He is an adult, you are no longer his guardian, he doesn't need one anymore. He is an adult. Sorry but you are crazy.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    LGainesUser is Offline
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    18 Jan 2018 12:07 PM
    Thank you kindly for your replies and encouraging words. I still have yet to hear from my son since my post but I've made peace with whatever the outcome may be. You're right, it's hard to watch him have that pride in himself and things not working out for him. Going through this many times in my own life I understand that unfortunately it's just a part of life. I will continue to uplift him through whatever's to come and I will also keep you guys posted on the outcome. Thanks again.
    jjordan864User is Offline
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    jjordan864

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    21 Jan 2018 04:11 AM
    when I went through basic there was someone who had been there since Golf and I graduated Sierra while that person got reverted from our company and graduated Tango. This person was in basic nearly a year before they graduated them. similar situation to one another shipmate in my company went through 5 different companies and he still graduated.. If he is truly trying his hardest and they see that and that he is comforming to military standards they will keep pushing him till he meets whatever CC's standards they have. He just needs to push that limit to show he really wants it (which he probably is). just keep encouraging him to do his best
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