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Questions Regarding Relationships and Life in the USCG
Last Post 04 Apr 2017 08:51 AM by Old Guard2. 8 Replies.
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michaelr25User is Offline
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michaelr25

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30 Mar 2017 05:08 PM
    Hello to all. I am very interested in joining the coast guards. I am in a relationship with my girlfriend of four years. We do talk about marriage but want to hold off until we can afford a decent wedding. I know there have been plenty of posts on this topic, but most of them are from a female's perspective and figured that I might receive different advice. Now I understand that boot camp is two months and I wont have contact with my girlfriend. After that, is there a chance that I have some say into where I want to be located (or at least the district)? I prefer to not live in the barracks but rather off base. What is the likelihood that I am able to live off base and receive a BAH? I would want to bring my girlfriend too, if possible. I understand everything would be easier if we were married but I'm hoping to get a little perspective on what to expect if we are not. Thanks!
    m1ashooterUser is Offline
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    m1ashooter

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    30 Mar 2017 10:50 PM
    You may and may not have a say out of boot camp of where you go for your first assignment. Always remember the needs of the service come first. I can understand that you would rather live off base and not in a barracks but did you consider that you might be living in a berthing area?

    A married non rate will receive BAH if gov't married quarters aren't available. A non rate who isn't married will live either in a barracks, on a cutter, in a shared gov't paid for apt or draw BAH. It really just depends on the assignment you draw out of boot camp.

    I sounds like you are saving money for your wedding. My advise is spend as little as possible on the event both my daughters wedding cost us around $6,000 dollars. I say don't spend a lot of money on a wedding because a lot of marriages don't work out and the money saved could be used for other things.

    Are you aware that you probably will be going to sea? Depending on the size of the boat or ship you could be gone for a week to 8 weeks at a time. Spend a few weeks at home and out again. Have you discussed that with your girlfriend? Being in a relationship with a service member can be very stressful because of the possibility of being apart for long periods of time. It takes a very strong and squared away person to deal with that.

    Good luck. These are just my thoughts.
    BellsUser is Offline
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    Bells

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    31 Mar 2017 03:40 PM
    If you go to a cutter, there is nothing saying they need to give you BAH or even housing. Our single nonrates either live in shared housing or on the cutter. On my first cutter most of us lived onboard for almost at least a year because the wait for housing or the barracks was really long. Now, wait times for a-schools are shorter, but there's no guarantee. At land units or really small cutters, if there is housing or barracks you'll be put there. I would just be ready that you are more likely than not, not going to receive BAH.

    Even when married. But least if you are married you can get a place on your own. Even married petty officers aren't so lucky. In most areas, unless you split rent with someone, you aren't pocketing BAH anyway so in the long run you are saving money by going into housing.
    Take what you like and leave the rest behind.
    michaelr25User is Offline
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    michaelr25

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    03 Apr 2017 06:34 PM
    I just wanted to go into to recruiters office with some of my general questions answered and this helps a lot, thanks!
    michaelr25User is Offline
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    michaelr25

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    03 Apr 2017 06:35 PM
    Thank you for the advice. We are considering getting married at a courthouse. That'll save us a ton. Hopefully I can receive BAH because I'm not sure where I will stay when I'm not at sea. I was hoping to find an area near the base where I am located. I have a lot of research to do and plan on talking to a recruiter soon.
    michaelr25User is Offline
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    michaelr25

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    03 Apr 2017 06:41 PM
    So even for a married couple it is tough to receive BAH? I was hoping my future wife could stay near the base that I am located at. I don't know where she would stay if we didn't receive BAH. I suppose she could get a fulltime job and, with the money I make in the CG, we could rent out a place even though I won't be there often. That would allow me to stay somewhere while I'm off from the CG. I'm not familiar with the process and living arrangements at all but will talk to a recruiter soon. Thanks for the advice.
    m1ashooterUser is Offline
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    m1ashooter

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    03 Apr 2017 10:32 PM
    Anything is possible but I've never heard of a married service person not getting BAH. I would not worry about that at this time. Talk to a recruiter they will steer you in the proper direction.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    04 Apr 2017 08:42 AM
    Posted By michaelr25 on 03 Apr 2017 07:35 PM
    Hopefully I can receive BAH because I'm not sure where I will stay when I'm not at sea. 

    If you are stationed on a cutter, when you are dockside, you live on the cutter.  My son did for 3 years on the Seneca and 2 years on the Midgett.  It isn't always comfortable but it is a rack.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    04 Apr 2017 08:51 AM
    If you are married and live on base, no BAH. There aren't a lot of bases with housing but those that do have it available, prefer their married members live there. Why would they want empty base housing units and give you money to rent elsewhere.

    You also seriously need to consider your girlfriend, who the military doesn't recognize or care about, should maybe live at home, home home, not home where are you stationed but home home until you are married and you can adequately provide the military life to her. She will still need to work a full time job, most likely. My daughter-in-law is a pharmacist and works crazy hours. You don't think marrying you is going to let her live the life of leisure, eating bon bons, getting her hair done? She will need to work. You will make a livable wage as an E2, E3, even E4 but certainly not a wage able to support a stay at home wife. Let's also take into account you rent an apartment for the 2 of you because you can't be apart for 2 minutes and you sign a one year lease. In 5 months you get orders to A School. She is left wherever your assignment was to live out the lease without you. Is that smart? Nope. If she stays at home and you man up to a long distance relationship until you are married, she won't be left alone or left holding the bag on an apartment that you aren't there to live with her.

    When I was engaged... My Coastie was on Kodiak, Alaska, in 1985. There were no cell phones, no email, no text messages, no skype, hell there weren't even answering machines yet! So we had to actually put pen to paper and write each other and wait for the mail. We called each other and paid 400, 500, 600$$$$$ phone bills in a month. If one of us wasn't home, there was no way to leave a message, the phone just rang and rang. We survived for 14 months that way until we got married. Oh, I was in New Jersey, 4 time zones away!

    My son was MARRIED to his wife but she was finishing her degree and then had to do her internship. He lived in Seattle aboard his ship, his wife lived in Boston finishing college and then Connecticut for her internship. He was there almost 2 years before she joined him because that was just the way life had played itself out. You honestly DO NOT need to live together. You can figure it out and wait until you are married.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
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