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Need advice. Boyfriend considering joining CG
Last Post 05 May 2017 10:29 AM by Bells. 7 Replies.
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CarlygkUser is Offline
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Carlygk

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01 May 2017 12:18 PM
    Me and my boyfriend have been together over two years. He has always said he wanted to be a pilot. He has decided that the military will be the best rout to doing so. He at first said he wanted to do Air Force but I did not like the idea of him being deployed so much. He now is considering coast guard to be a helicopter pilot. He is meeting with a recruiter today but I wanted to get some of my questions answered. From the research I've done, it doesn't seem like we are  avoiding deployment either way. My biggest issue is him being gone so much and having to eventually raise a family on my own. I just don't think the military life is for me. I know we are not married and that will make it even more difficult, however I definitely dont want to get married until I know that this is something I'll be able to deal with the rest of my life. What do I have to expect?
    kaylajoy17User is Offline
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    kaylajoy17

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    01 May 2017 04:20 PM
    I am in the same position as you. ive never thought military life was for me, but my boyfriend just left for bootcamp one week ago. so far its been very tough having all communication cut off. its been rough supporting this decision when it's something im against. i wish i had more advice but i am also lost myself. i think itll be worth it if you know theyre the one you want to be with. its definitely scarier just being a gf though because we cant live with them and the cg wont recognize us. 

    im also trying to figure out which company my boyfriend is in, how did you post a question here? haha
    CarlygkUser is Offline
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    Carlygk

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    03 May 2017 01:54 PM
    Thank you for your input. I really hope it all works out for you guys. I went to the forums tab, then the "coast guard family" category at the bottom. If you click that there is a green "add topic" at the top
    GearsUser is Offline
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    Gears

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    03 May 2017 03:36 PM
    I just don't think the military life is for me.


    You and your boyfriend need to have a serious heart to heart talk then. Talking to a recruiter is just that.. talking. It doesn't mean he's going to ship tomorrow. The process can take 6 months or longer depending on the route he takes. You should plenty of time to decide what you want to do.
    “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee
    kaylajoy17User is Offline
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    kaylajoy17

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    03 May 2017 10:59 PM
    thank you I hope it works out for you guys too! Be sure to talk about it soon though. I thought I would have 6 months or more but my boyfriend took the asvab in the middle January and was already shipped out in April, so it can go faster than expected.
    m1ashooterUser is Offline
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    m1ashooter

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    03 May 2017 11:51 PM
    Is you boyfriend a college graduate? I know in the USAF you must be an officer to get to flight school and I believe its the same thing in the USCG unless you were an Army Warrant Officer.
    CarlygkUser is Offline
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    Carlygk

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    05 May 2017 10:12 AM
    Yes he has a degree
    BellsUser is Offline
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    Bells

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    05 May 2017 10:29 AM
    What to expect: if your boyfriend makes it to pilot, pilots' duty isnt particularly arduous. They stand a couple days on, a couple days off at a time. Sea time solicitations are usually on a voluntarily basis. Officers typically transfer units every two-three years, so expect to move.

    Not having a supportive significant other is probably one of the worst things to feel as a service member. I've been in for 7 years in a month, and was with someone for almost three. He didn't support my long term commitment to the Coast Guard. I ended it to not drag out the inevitable. Another female at my unit ended her marriage with 2 kids for the same reason. Not having a support system when that support system is supposed to be mutual is a end all be all. It's not for everyone. If it's not for you then you need to talk to them about it.

    That being said, the journey in particular is fun. Significant others of service members often bind together and make life long friends out of eachother. You share a common experience which is grounds for camaraderie. No matter what it's tough being away, but there's ways to make it easier.
    Take what you like and leave the rest behind.
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