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Pregnant Girlfriend of a Non-Rate, ADVICE NEEDED!!!!
Last Post 11 Oct 2017 07:39 AM by joseywalez. 4 Replies.
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beckrulzUser is Offline
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beckrulz

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09 Oct 2017 02:47 PM
    My boyfriend and I just discovered that I'm 6 weeks pregnant!!!!! YAY!!!! Only problem is that he is leaving for AET school in a year and we don't want him to miss out. I'm due in June, but he goes on the waiting list for AET School round about January. Not sure how to handle the situation and could use all the advice we can get. We are not married so I can't exactly accompany him as far as we know unless we are married, and we don't want to be rushed into a marriage just because we are having a baby. Please help!!!
    RyucratUser is Offline
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    Ryucrat

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    09 Oct 2017 06:08 PM
    Wait list for AET could take as long as 2 years if not more. I'd suggest him talking to the YN and let them know about your pregnancy. A second opt WOULD be for the marriage. He'd get a boost in pay for BAH for you and your up-coming child. You'd also be able to live with him on or off base, versus only off base if you don't get married. You're in an interesting position, to say the least!
    "The Road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, and I must follow if I can.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    10 Oct 2017 07:16 AM
    This is going to be harsh... How long have the 2 of you been together? I hope not 8 weeks. He absolutely SHOULD NOT delay in putting his name on the A School list, I don't care if the wait is 2 minutes. He will have to support this child, the military will force him to support this child. He should continue his career as he has planned. If you don't want to rush the marriage, do not. Getting married because there is a child is stupid. It might work and you'll be married 75 years, in all likelihood it will end in divorce before the child is in kindergarten. No, you cannot go with him as the girlfriend, even as the fiancée. The only people that matter to the military are the active duty members, their spouse and children. If he goes to A School and you are about to give birth, you might have to do that without him. Plenty of military wives/girlfriends give birth without the father in attendance, it happens a lot. It is part of the sacrifice that is military life. If you do make a run at it as a spouse, get used to it now. There could be birthdays, holidays, dance recitals, anniversaries, all sorts of things that are missed. You work around it.

    Now to be a little gentler... Babies are something to be celebrated, so many congratulations. I hope little bean is happy, healthy, perfect and brings you both so much joy. Circumstances sometimes suck and this might but you will manage, you will get through it and it will be ok. If you need answers, feel free to ask questions here. We will help best that we can, even if I am a little harsh sometimes.
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    ScoobUser is Offline
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    Scoob

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    10 Oct 2017 09:07 PM
    Married or not, AET school is unaccompanied.
    joseywalezUser is Offline
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    joseywalez

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    11 Oct 2017 07:39 AM
    The Yeoman won't be able to do anything about your pregnancy except add the child as a dependent when they are born, and help counsel/start entitlements as they arise. FYI, unless you personally have insurance, all your medical checkups and everything associated with your pregnancy will be out of pocket or through your insurance. Once that baby is born, your Boyfriend will add them to DEERs and get them in TRICARE (military insurance). Depending on how long you have been together and if you have discussed marriage before I would be very cautious in making a decision. I got married young in our relationship due to pregnancy, ended up with Two beautiful, healthy and amazing children... and a Divorce. Not saying all relationships end like that that begin like that but that was just mine. If you have been together and discussed it and just needed a reason... here it is! If you don't want to do the courtroom thing, military chaplains can do a ceremonial wedding for free. Nothing fancy but if you're religious it will be in their church on base.

    As far as logistics are concerned, it sounds like you will have already had the baby before he goes to A school, so the Coast Guard will move your child and their belongings to where ever he gets stationed after A school. You can move as well, but you will not get any entitlements. If you fly, your baby's ticket will be covered but not yours.. etc. Unless of course you are married.

    I think you're number one concern should be on your relationship and financial stability. A school is a huge milestone in an Enlisted Member's career and if your boyfriend wants to stay in and make it a career do not put in his ear for him to postpone it. Aviation rates already have a slow advancement process and delaying this would be worse. When he is at A school, I would go live with family to help out, my ex wife did (I went to a school while she was pregnant).

    If you have any questions or concerns about entitlements or anything.. I am a Yeoman
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