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adultery please help mee
Last Post 17 Apr 2018 06:49 PM by CPORJM. 6 Replies.
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StephmclynnUser is Offline
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Stephmclynn

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02 Apr 2018 05:47 PM
    Hi, I was wondering what the repercussions of a marriage infidelity are in the coast guard? I recently found out that my husband (who is enlisted) had an affair while away at training with one of his classmates (not married). 
    He is so afraid that I am going to tell his command. He "says" its because they'll lower his pay and he won't be able to take care of us. Is this true?
    please ill take any information i can get, I'm so lost right now. We have 2 kids together.

    thank you
    BellsUser is Offline
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    Bells

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    02 Apr 2018 07:45 PM
    I am sorry that you are going through this. If his command receives information of inappropriate relationships, then yes, they will conduct their own investigation, which could result in him getting "booked" or "charged" with a violation of the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice). Depending on what type of unit he is at, the penalties vary. He could get "restricted" up to 30 or 45 days (he cannot leave the unit). 30-45 days extra duty (2 hours of extra work a day), and also a drop in rank or lower pay. It will be up to the command.

    Beyond what you decide to do, I recommend on seeking counseling. You may also reach out to Work Life, which is separate from his command. They help families and coasties with various obstacles. Work Life offers counseling, I think up to 10 sessions, without having to go through Coast Guard Medical or another avenue. They're number is 855-CG SUPRT (247-8778) and their website is https://www.cgsuprt.com/portal/landing

    Let us know if you have any other questions
    My roomate has just gone to Work Life for a separate reason and has been happy with how they've helped him.
    Take what you like and leave the rest behind.
    StephmclynnUser is Offline
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    Stephmclynn

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    02 Apr 2018 08:20 PM
    thank you so so much for your reply and the valuable information. Do you know how i go about contacting the command? Is this something i should do in person so i may provide proof? or is a phone call the normal way of contact?
    m1ashooterUser is Offline
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    m1ashooter

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    02 Apr 2018 10:06 PM
    Please think this through, do not make a rash decision. If your marriage is worth saving then forgive your husband and drive on. If you can not forgive your husband and bring this matter to his command it will be investigated. Its possible that he could be separated from the service.
    BellsUser is Offline
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    Bells

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    03 Apr 2018 08:30 PM
    I agree. I think shooting for counseling through work life would be a better first step. You know your relationship better than any of us. What is unfortunate, is any consequence that he receives, through an investigation, would affect you as a family. I would shoot for, what would be the best course of action to help support your kids.
    Take what you like and leave the rest behind.
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    05 Apr 2018 04:47 AM
    Your husband made a mistake and you're hurt, I get it. Don't ruin his chance at a career and all of your chances at recovering from a stupid mistake. You want contact command, don't ask for my help, I will not. It was a mistake. He didn't kill someone, he didn't beat you. None of us are perfect and mistakes happen
    Sector NY, Staten Island
    CPORJMUser is Offline
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    CPORJM

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    17 Apr 2018 06:49 PM
    Consider this..If the Command conducts an investigation and at the end of it all, they decide to separate him from the Service, there goes your housing, benefits, income, etc. Are you bent on teaching him a lesson by going to his Command, or trying to fix your relationship?
    "When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him."-Jonathan Swift
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