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Adultery/straying
Last Post 16 Jan 2020 02:31 PM by PriorQM. 2 Replies.
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AH123User is Offline
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AH123

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11 Jan 2020 08:28 AM
    It might seem cliche and never want to be a part of a statistic, yet I'm not even really sure if this is the right place to mention and ask for help but since we got stationed on the island we have been fine until, whenever new people transfers every summer..My husband would leave for work earlier, stay later, (I'm naive about all his position's duties and real schedule since not only does he keep them from me but he keeps changing the "original" time), he always ends up training others (he's an mst3 now 2) and tend to be always women and come home so disrespectful and verbally violent. It's emotionally and mentally abusive. (He changes!) Became secretive about his phone and waking up secretly in the middle of the morning, etc. 
    Then just recently, past May 2019 it started again and even worse. I just gave birth to months before and he was very distant and always suspicious. When he's on duty he schedules himself with the same new officer (she's engaged too) for ship inspections until now and uses work as an excuse of being early or late. (He was lying where he goes and what days he works and have special events.) Uses work time to communicate with ppl on social media since Facebook dating app started and says he's busy and stacked up on work. 
    We fought and he never came home until talking with him, close to midnight and found out he has cheated. 
    Sorry for the long story and rambling but who can I speak to about this and what do they do to investigate? 
    He doesn't want to go to counseling, "he doesn't want to talk about it". (Way before this occured.) I think his close co workers knows his secret. Thank you for your time.
    PriorQMUser is Offline
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    PriorQM

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    16 Jan 2020 02:29 PM
    there is a liason for this type of stuff on base. but remember, the counsiling is always private, but investigations can easily become public. Not trying to talk you out of anything, but everything is scruitinized in an investigation, including the accuser.

    While you wouldn't need to worry so much about what they look into on you, it is just an invasive thing. You will be granted portions of his pay like any other single mother if you do decide to m ove on, and he will face UCMJ, but other than that, there isn't much else to know.

    It is a simple answer, but in the real world it is a little more in your face. I was Navy so there were more channels and people to go through, but I would start with omsbudman and ask where you can find a counsiler for yourself, and they will refer you to the proper place, and that referal is confidential.

    Hope this helps, I am sure a Coastie will have a better answer if they decide to jump on this.
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    PriorQM

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    16 Jan 2020 02:31 PM
    I should note, just say that your family pet died back home and you need someone to talk to privately about it, this way you don't raise any eye brows as to why you are wanting a counsiling session.
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