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Dumbest Thing You Saw During Boot?
Last Post 27 Nov 2016 06:02 AM by MtnMan. 173 Replies.
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BellsUser is Offline
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25 Aug 2013 12:28 PM
Your right! Born in 88
Take what you like and leave the rest behind.
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25 Aug 2013 04:15 PM
My ex was in boot in August 1985. Most of his non-rates and thirds weren't born when he was there.
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27 Aug 2013 10:53 AM
In 1985 I was -2...
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27 Aug 2013 10:58 AM
Negative 2... that's funny!!! LOL I was already graduated from high school and in my first year of college.
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27 Aug 2013 03:27 PM
Mail call was always fun to see especially when a CC sticks the 5 foot tall persons mail in the overhead tiles. One of the funny things I saw happened when I was standing by myself on the quarterdeck. While I still don't know how it happened, out of the corner of my eye I see a CC somehow trip over a chair or fall out of it or something, I don't know. All I know is he was on the deck with the chair. I looked over to see if everything was good to go when he stands up and points a guidon at me and goes "hey ...(pause)..... You didn't see that!" To which I replied "aye aye PO (name withheld)". Him: "you don't even know my name!" Me "aye aye sir!" At which point he walked off. Still don't know how it happened but I found some humor in it.
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28 Aug 2013 07:17 AM
One kid in my company got caught writting letters in the head like week 3. Then he got reverted 2 weeks (since there was no company one week prior to us) and then he did it AGAIN! Getting him stuck in forming week not two but three times. I'm not sure if the kid ever got out of boot since he would have only been week 4 or 5 when I graduated.

The other two I did, though they weren't intentionally bad, they were just silly/stupid.

First one was the week that we learned who to salute and who not to. I was walking to the ward with 2 shipmates (for ice on my shins or something) and we walked by a CC with his company and I was in the designated spot to greet him. I raised my hand to salute, but half way up I thought 'whoops, thats a Petty Officer, I dont salute those," and lowered my hand. This motion, however, looked like I waved at him. Like "hey, how's it goin'" kind of wave. He ran right up to me and said "DID YOU JUST F-ING WAVE AT ME?!" He yelled at me for what felt like forever before making me write out a tracker. That was almost as bad as when i handed said tracker in and my CC said out loud what i did in front of the company. Thankfully nobody laughed.

The second thing i did was when we were in muster in our squad bay. I was standing RIGHT next to one of the windows and our CC was giving some sort of serious speech to us and at a very quiet, still moment, one of those damned seagulls nearly flew right into the glass of the window, missing it by an inch and flying away. I, of course, turned to look at it and jumped. Our CC asked me what I was looking at and I said "A bird...I was looking at a bird, Chief xxxxxx." He looked at me for a moment......."Tracker for looking at birds."

I got SO many trackers in Boot, but 90% of them were for things like that.
"Zombieland Rule #32- Enjoy the little things."
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28 Aug 2013 08:44 AM
Posted By CWUSCG on 18 Aug 2009 11:20 PM
I probably shouldn't share this one, but this is the military afterall...So, im sure everyone can handle it since we're all adults. We just learned helm commands and I woke up one morning at "the position of attention before muster" And my chief asked "*lastname* What's wrong?" "Chief, I do not understand your question" "Yes you do...." And im thinking oh god this is NOT happening. So without missing a beat i say... "Chief, my rudder is amidships."

He just put his head down and said "very well..." he had to leave the squadbay for a few minutes to contain himself. It was classic.


CGC Dallas(WHEC 716)
November-181
"Keep our hands steady and our eyes observant. Keep our hearts pure and our course true for come hell or high water, when called by those in need we shall always be their guardians of the sea."

This is the funniest one I've read so far. I dont care how much IT i'd have to do, I would be dying in formation.

"Zombieland Rule #32- Enjoy the little things."
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28 Aug 2013 02:18 PM
Posted By LauraDK on 28 Aug 2013 07:17 AM

First one was the week that we learned who to salute and who not to. I was walking to the ward with 2 shipmates (for ice on my shins or something) and we walked by a CC with his company and I was in the designated spot to greet him. I raised my hand to salute, but half way up I thought 'whoops, thats a Petty Officer, I dont salute those," and lowered my hand. This motion, however, looked like I waved at him. Like "hey, how's it goin'" kind of wave. He ran right up to me and said "DID YOU JUST F-ING WAVE AT ME?!" He yelled at me for what felt like forever before making me write out a tracker. That was almost as bad as when i handed said tracker in and my CC said out loud what i did in front of the company. Thankfully nobody laughed.


OH jeez that reminds me of my little slip-up that I somehow never got in trouble for. It was divine hours on either our first or second Sunday. I was on the quarterdeck getting some supplies for something, I think we were doing uniform maintenance and needed rulers and index cards. So there I am at the yeoman desk, and a 1st Class comes around the corner. I don't even know who he was, but he could've been anyone since we had CC school on our deck as well. I apparently was completely HUA, not sure where I was, or whatever, but I nodded at him and said "good morning."

He stops and looked at me..."Did you just HEAD-NOD ME?! Wow. I can't believe you freakin' head-nodded me."
And he walked around the corner..."(Petty Officer) Evans, your recruit just head-nodded me."

YN1 comes around the corner, looks at me, and just says "Nice." and walks away.

I think the only reason I didn't get a tracker or get IT'd was because it was divine hours. It was never mentioned again, but I was afraid of it coming back to bite me the rest of my time at Cape May.

DON'T HEAD-NOD!!!
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28 Aug 2013 05:09 PM
Random bootcamp thought...
Does anyone else think that a kid from across the parade field going "RAMP, RAMP, RAMP, RAMP, RAMP." sounds a bit like a duck.
"Zombieland Rule #32- Enjoy the little things."
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29 Aug 2013 10:16 AM
Posted By LauraDK on 28 Aug 2013 05:09 PM
Random bootcamp thought...
Does anyone else think that a kid from across the parade field going "RAMP, RAMP, RAMP, RAMP, RAMP." sounds a bit like a duck.

All. The. Time.  (And also on that note, the RAMP road show terrified me.)


Also saw a seagull get in a fight with its reflection in the galley windows...then a bunch of others came to join the fight only to find out...no fight.
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10 Dec 2014 04:32 AM
Bumped for yamcha56
I want to finally set it free, So show me how to see what Your mercy sees, Help me now to give what You gave to me...Forgiveness, Forgiveness
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10 Dec 2014 09:36 AM
1) Don't use cocaine the night before bootcamp

2) Don't get an anchor tattoo on your forearm before bootcamp (especially if it looks like the Chief insignia)

3) Don't call the CC's names and say that it'll be easy while on the bus ride into bootcamp

4) (for those who know her...) Don't misspronounce BMCM Martynouski's name wrong...
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ebee

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17 Dec 2014 11:32 AM
During week 6 or 7 we were field daying the head/showers, and the girl who was cleaning the showers didn't want to get the bottom of her pants wet, so she tucked them in to her white socks (we were wearing go-fasters at the time). Well of course our female CC managed, unbeknownst to my shipmate, to sneak in and see my shipmate looking ridiculous. The CC said something and the recruit snapped to attention. The CC eventually made the recruit, pants still tucked in, march around the parade field saying something like "I made an intentional decision to dress this way!" LOL. She then had to go to all the other CCs and tell them she made that intentional choice. It was pretty funny, especially because she was one of the best recruits in our company.

The funniest moment, though, was when that same female CC was doing mail call during week 7 or 8. She would call out recipients' names and drop the mail on the floor and people would dart up to get their mail as fast as possible (which was funny enough in itself). Anyway, she called out one kid's name and he runs up. She didn't throw his mail on the floor, but just stood there holding and staring at what was a pretty big envelope. She then looked up at him and said "Seaman Recruit So-and-so, your package is pretty thick today." We all started to and quickly stopped ourselves from laughing, and she just looked straight up into her cover and her face was as red as I've seen anyone's. It was pretty hilarious.
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17 Dec 2014 12:07 PM
Well how the hell do you recover from that one!!!!! Sometimes you say these things before you even realize what's just come out of your face!

Not boot camp... but I was watching Monday night football, this was several years ago. There happened to be about 5 players with the last name "Johnson" playing between the 2 teams. One of the announcers, very innocently said "I wonder which team has the biggest Johnson on the field." There was dead silence for about 10 seconds when they busted up in total hilarity and couldn't contain themselves for a good 5 minutes. I actually hit rewind on the DVR to see if I heard correctly... yup, I sure did.
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17 Dec 2014 06:20 PM
Now, this is not in real life; if you know me, I am the Commandant of the Coast Guard in an online game, but I thought I should still share a pretty good story from way back when I was a Battalion Commander.

So, we pull in all the recruits and start setting them up in formation. We have some drilling with faces and marching, and all during this, you are not allowed to touch the grass. We had a particular recruit who, I guess, slipped onto the grass. The CC had the entire formation stop, and the recruit had to start doing jumping jacks (equivalent of pushups for this game, you have to jump up and down and spell out numbers while you do it). The CC started screaming at him and thought it would be funny if we made him be a cow, for deciding to "graze on his grass." He turned on cow noises and used commands in the game to slow down the recruit to a "grazing" speed and then made him run across the drill field screaming "MOO!." If he didn't say it exactly like that, with all caps, two "o"s, and an exclamation point, he had to run around in a circle 5 times and say "I made a mistake because I'm a cow." I was called out of my office just to see it. It was the best thing ever.
"The Coast Guard has long been known as the armed service that gets more done for less." - Howard Coble
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17 Dec 2014 06:52 PM
I have a few stories that were funny.

One of my shipmates called petty officer Evans petty officer tracker by mistake. That CC loved giving out trackers by the way.

Another shipmate of mine was told to fill out a tracker for looking creepy.

One guy passed gas and the CC noticed, oh boy that wasn't too nice. The CC told him to fill out a tracker for passing gas.

The CCs for some odd reason were the funniest people. They had good sense of humor. Unfortunately, the recruit couldn't laugh.
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19 Dec 2014 06:27 AM
After receiveing orders we had a couple of shipmates of D-160 pretend to fallout of formation and miraculously land on the soft grass where they continued to pretend to be passed out in hopes of being medically discharged. Another guy tried to OD on Motrin after hearing he was going to FL and not PR like his recruiter told him he could.
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15 Mar 2015 10:55 AM
In the first several weeks of India-190 the company was standing in main muster before chewy bars and hitting the racks. One ship mate towards the back had just started eating one of his chewy bars(when he wasnt supposed to) and when the CC heard the wrapper he said "Oh my god please tell me your not eating a chewy bar right now..." upon confirmation the CC made the recruit stand in front of the company to finish the last 1 and a half bars while rubbing his' tummy' saying repeatably "Yum, mmm, its so good!" with every bite.
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AG305

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05 Apr 2016 09:35 PM
this thread is absolutely hilarious lol i would love to hear some more stories. keep them coming!
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19 Sep 2016 12:40 PM
This is a great read and brought back some great memories = Hotel 111. 1. Our sister company had to break down their racks and have midnight rack races around the parade field at midnight. 2. Galley week - a few recruits on the first day of galley week snuck into a refer with only a single cake rack in it with 3 cakes sheets filled with brownies. Starving the recruits ate as much as possible in a short period of time. They found out later they were made with Exlax...enough said and nobody ever got caught or called out. 3. Human buffing machine - had to pour was onto the floor in a 12" circle. My fellow shipmate had to lay on his back with his feet in the air and I ran him around the second deck of Munro Hall shining the floors... 4. Midnight exercising - doing push-ups and then flipping over to the "Dead Coach roach" position just for the fun of it...
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20 Sep 2016 03:37 AM
Bulldog they don't do galley week anymore. Some of the younger recruits probably don't know what that is. My ex was India121, he did gallery week. Our son was Golf181, nope. 😕

Good memories from your days!!
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20 Sep 2016 01:22 PM
This has to be the funniest thread I've seen thus far. It makes me want to go to through bootcamp even more, please share more stories if you have them, I LOVE reading them, had my friend and I cracking up reading them!
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06 Oct 2016 01:38 PM
Here's mine - and it happened during indoc week. After taps a recruit gets out of his rack to use the head. Apparently he had a pretty rough time in there because he ended up clogging up the toilet. He was so scared to tell anybody about it that he decided to unclog it with his bare hands.
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27 Nov 2016 06:02 AM
While In RHE (this is where hurt people stay to recover until they are fit for duty) myself and 4 other guys were showering in the head, and for some reason 3 of the recruits were singing sweet home Alabama at the top of their lungs. And all of the sudden I heard the MCPO in charge of RHE scream "Who the f*ck is singing?!?" But my shipmates were singing so loud that they didn't hear him and continued their karaoke. Then before I could warn them, MCPO rushed into the head and yelled " shut the f*ck up you f*cking nimwits! I can hear half way across the regiment!" And all of us popped to the position of attention butt naked with all our pride and glory just out there and we got an ass chewing of a life time. And you best believe every shower after that day was as quiet as anything.
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