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best advice i can give you. when they upset you or hurt your feelings (and they will).....do not show any emotion or feeling. remain firm and don't argue with them.

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I have worked with troubled girls/teens. Don't pussy foot around stuff. Be brutally honest and yet never let them see you sweat ie never act shocked no matter how shocked you may be. They can sense if/when you care for or about them. No BS even when you don't know what to do, keep it real and honest. You can listen to their stories but don't buy into them. Everyone has a story that is worse than the next. Keep to the job at hand. In the end they will respect you most when you are honest with them. Good luck - it's tough work and many burn out really fast.

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Thank you for the advice and encouragements.

I have been doing some studying and putting some activitites together that I think will be great ice breakers, for me to introduce myself and to get them to open up a tad, even if they just tell me their names...its a start...

Its quite sad that my team and I are the only constant people in their lives...wish I could change the world...well, I guess I am one girl at a time :)

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Oh my gosh....today was my first day meeting some of the girls and interacting with them- how amazing. This particular group was a "Community Group", their mothers are already out of jail/prison...They pretty much stuck to their groups, but a few of them opened up to me and I had some great conversations with some of their Gaurdians and some of the ASU sorority girls who mentor them as well.

So far so good, next weekend is my first time at Perryville Prison- def. nervous to go their.

Next meeting I have is Tuesday, I get to pick up some of the girls, so hopefully the car ride isn't quiet and awkward!

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Heck, I don't even know how to raise my own teenagers. It's like a stroll through a minefield - just because your last step didn't blow up doesn't help you with the next one. So I have no useful advice except don't get dogmatic. What works for one, or even most, probably won't work for all. Be prepared to adjust your approach (without compromising principles) if necessary.

Having spent 15 years in the Public School system dealing with discipline issues I wish you luck! Teenage years are an enigma wrapped in a riddle tempered with hormones. The principal at a middle school used to say "How can you tell when a teenager is lying? Their mouth is moving"......unfortunately true in some instances. This will be a great challenge for you, and I admire your gumption.

Pepper

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I am a teenager, and i still could not give advice because i hate going through one day of school because of how some other "highschoolers" act.. haha

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I think you should ship them all off to the army or marines j/k

good job on what you are doing and i give you mad props. i dont think i could do it

JKribell, I believe that's the best analogy I've ever heard!
Clem, it's great to hear that things are going so well!

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After living through a teen I am convinced that all at age 15 need to be enlisted into the military and returned to finish school at 19...

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For boys, military boarding school. For girls, convent school. Same principles, different uniforms...

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In this particular situation,

It is not the child/teenagers fault they are acting out in total unacceptable and outlandish ways. They have been raised by parents who do not do good things and have no direction themselves, so it is only natural for a young female or male to follow in the same behaviours.

The stories and situations I am hearing are heart wrenching and just disgusting.

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I must agree with the parentals on this one! I know what I was like and also what I had to deal with when I was a young teenager (about 13-16). I wasn't awful, but I wasn't nice! My parents said I was the good one and I'm certain that there are times that still gave them heart attacks.

And Clem, you're correct. It is sickening to think about how some kids are raised. Everyday I want to bring someone home... and it's hard to think about the environments they're going back to. On that note, I still think some people should be screened before they're allowed to breed! And Foster Parents should have more restrictions .... don't think I can stress that one enough! Just realize some days are better than others ... and even in their situation, they still find a reason to smile and carry on. Everyone has a sob story ... a mark of war, but don't let them dwell on it. Besides that's a good story to relish on to manipulate you in some way or another. I'm a huge (emphasis on huge) sucker when it comes to feeling heartbroken for others. I am still very bad at it. But, especially with kids with a criminal background/drug dependancy, they feed on that. They know exactly what to say/do. Not saying that you shouldn't feel for them ... because it's hard not to. And if you didn't feel for them, there'd be no reason to do your job .... but just never let your guard down. I'm sorry you're having to hear the stories. But it definitely gives you a reason to appreciate many assets of your own life! :) Once again, what you're doing is great! And JKribell's right .... debrief and destress!!!

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I ditto Jan...

Sorry if my post came across wrong that was not the intent at all.

You and all others willing to talk and help these kids is a life changing blessing.

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Oh, I didn't take what you guys were saying in a "wrong" way, just wanted to throw out there that as much as I wish shipping a teen out somewhere may work.....but with these kids, they are so used to being pushed and shoved, all they really need is a constant loving person

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HAHAHA Ditto to that one wepprop! Gosh I could not have picked a better analogy than that!

Everyone join in with "All you need is love" :) Sorry ... there was a Beatles special on last night! :)

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I babysat for a girl younger than the teens you will be working with but, my saving grace was always being stern but validating her and focusing on her strenghts rather than her slip ups. We would talk about what she was doing wrong and would write down how we could fix it and make it better. Many people who come from a broken home are just looking for attention in rebeliousness. So while being stern, try and be a friend and confidant. They will appreciate it, I am sure!

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Cheers to making the world a better place to be in! It's people like you who make a real difference even if you help one person.

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Update:

After a few weeks I am starting to get into the grind of things. I should be all badged up for all prisons/jails in Arizona by end of October. Long process....

Last night at program it was really hard because we talked about self esteem...something that they have little of...hard night....

In good news....when I mentioned that my dream is military oriented, I caught the eye of 4 girls.... which is really good, so it shows that they " give me props and have a lil respect and want to get to know me"....so that is def. a step in the right direction.

So thrilled I got this job...so thrilled.

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I'm sure it's gonna be tough in dealing with troubled teens but I'm sure if you only let them feel that you're there for them at the same time showing that you're in charge might just be helpful. I salute you for your dedication! Keep it up.
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http://www.troubledteens.com/

We haven't heard from Clementine in a LOOOOOng time. Her post is over a year old.