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getting used to..
Last Post 18 May 2010 01:09 PM by kmac. 20 Replies.
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AET2bKnbbUser is Offline
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AET2bKnbb

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14 May 2010 06:35 PM
    This question is mostly for spouses who other is in the CG..

    I was wondering how rough is it when they get to their first station and they have to qualify? How much time to you really get to spend with them?
    Someone told me that its extremely hard on the family becasue they are gone alot for the first couple of months. I was also informed that new cg members are expected to come in on their days off during this time, does this mean they dont get alot off? As a wife, is there anything I can do to make it better? Should be expecting?

    thanks!


    The proud wife of:
    SR Fisch
    Foxtrot 183

    You are only as strong as you appear to be
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    14 May 2010 06:58 PM
    Jim & I were married but I lived in NJ and he lived in Kodiak... he did what he needed to do without me being there. But that was a situation different from most and it was somethig we chose to do. I am in no way suggesting you keep yourself separated.

    With that said... The biggest thing I could recommend at any point in their career when they have to put in that extra time, days off, "overtime" without the pay... be patient! Don't be pissed off & whiny about them being away, they aren't away at a bar, they are training to be the best Coasite and provide the best future for you and themselves. Again, not implying a single thing, just saying. I don't believe you ahve to be a 50's wife and have dinner made & martini's mixed & children bathed & bedded so he can relax with the nightly news... but just don't gripe about everything... You know what I mean and where I am trying to go with that thought.

    It is pretty stressful and non-rate getting qualified isn't the only time you will encounter that stress. New stations, next promotion, A School, C School, new commands, new Chiefs... it can all be stressful. You just learn to balance! That's why most anyone will agree the toughest job in the military... is being a wife!

    But there are SOOOOOOOO MANY high points, these stressers and training and hours spent apart really don't seem so bad when you look back on it all. :)


    Proud mom of
    SN Robertson, Colin
    USCGC Seneca

    Sector NY, Staten Island
    luvmycoastieUser is Offline
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    luvmycoastie

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    14 May 2010 07:21 PM
    I have to agree with what OldGuard said, But remember that its not Forever . AT times you will have to make those sacrifices but that memories and the good time will out way the days you have to miss him.
    When my son got to his duty station he did have to work longer hours and more days but he knew it was needed . He gets qualified on the 18th it took 5 months. Once he is qualified his schedule will change for the better. Will you be moving with him ??


    Julie Proud Mom to
    Danny
    Coast Guard Sector Detroit.

    captkyguyUser is Offline
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    14 May 2010 07:43 PM
    Macie said it great...

    I demand a lot from my fire recruits and I know they must make family sacrifices to accomplish what I ask to the standards I expect. I host a family welcome the first week of training and talk with all of the wives and parents about my expectations. I will ask them to be very forgiving to their recruit when I send them home with excessive homework or dead tired after PT and firefighting days, and to understand why the honey do's may not get done when asked or expected from them. I will stress that if they need to be mad at anyone because of this to please be mad at me, because I am the cause. Then I promise them it all gets better when on shift and even better after their first year. Most understand and help their recruit study and prepare and allow them lots of rest.

    But like Macie says they are not out running around hanging with their buds sitting at a bar, fishing, goofy off or seeing anyone they are earning their right of passage into their new Coast Guard family (they will become a second family to you and your coastie) and they must earn the right to be welcomed at the choice of the crew not the choice of the new coastie.

    They will be testing him from day one to see if he will complete all tasks asked of him and put in the extra time requested, just to see if he will complain about it or even quit, or will he step up and do what is needed like all of them did before him...if he chooses the later he will be accepted because they will see that he will work and do what is needed when it is unpleasant, dirty and nasty. He will have earned his right of passage...so important.


    Kyle

     

    In his life changing name God Bless!

    I want to finally set it free, So show me how to see what Your mercy sees, Help me now to give what You gave to me...Forgiveness, Forgiveness
    MKCoastiemomUser is Offline
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    MKCoastiemom

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    14 May 2010 08:53 PM
    Yes they are expected to come in on their days off to get things signed off and until they are qualified, they have duty every third day. Usually it takes 4-6 months to get their qualifications done. Once that is done, they have a little breathing room. As Macie said, there is always something else new coming up. My son's boat is losing their Senior Chief, MKC and BM2. There are only 11 guys on the boat! So there will be new people to get used to.
    AET2bKnbbUser is Offline
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    AET2bKnbb

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    14 May 2010 09:16 PM
    Thank you all for the advice. I just wanted to have real and honest picture of what life will be like. Luv, I will be moving with him to our first base. I didnt want to get there and think hes was overworking and avoiding his pregnant wife LOL. Im sure I will get used to it. I hope I will make friends fast and keep them!


    The proud wife of:
    SR Fisch
    Foxtrot 183

    You are only as strong as you appear to be
    EUser is Offline
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    15 May 2010 12:08 AM
    This is the time to shine, or as many people say "be a hard charger". The initiative or lack of initiative will make the first impressions to his crew and command. Just be supportive, every day is a "test" and he will get pushed harder than usual but things will relax and get more enjoyable.

    remember that your non rate is replacing a non rate, that's why extra time is needed to get them qualified. This patrol I am going from a 1 in 5 rotation to 1 in 2. Extra time that your non rate is in at work, most likely there is someone else that is giving up their day to help with them. The faster the better.

    Just be semper gumby and things will work out:)


    "If, in order to be popular I have to do what other people want me to do, regardless of my own convictions, then I have no desire to be popular, and I am quite sure I will never be." Commodore Ellsworth Bertholf, First Coast Guard Commandant

    massagegirl128User is Offline
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    massagegirl128

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    15 May 2010 01:02 AM
    I think it all depends on what his station is, big boat, small boat, no boat..... My huband is on a construction tender and in the beginning he had to be on duty once every 3 days to get qualified, but other than that he was never expected to come in on his off time and there work days are from 7am to 1pm and usually off Fridays. Now, he does go underway from 1 to 12 days at a time. I did not find it real hard for us. But, every situation is different. I had a job 3 weeks after we moved to VA so I was busy!
    lan56User is Offline
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    lan56

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    16 May 2010 07:10 AM
    I am at a busy station on the west coast. Even though we are busy, I have only had to come in on my days off only a few times in the past 5 months to work on qualfications. Usually it's been range dates that couldn't be scheduled any other time. Otherwise, 95% of the time I had days off like normal, free to enjoy my personal time like the rest of my duty section.

    It all has to do with your performance when you are normally on-duty. If you work hard while on-duty, then you won't be asked to give up your days off unless absolutely necessary. If you slack and act like a dirtbag, people will be making you stay.

    Don't worry about it; the Coast Guard realises you need time off for fun and personal stuff, trust me on this. Serve well and you will be treated well.
    MKCoastiemomUser is Offline
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    MKCoastiemom

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    16 May 2010 03:16 PM
    Ian,

    My son wasn't slack and didn't act like a dirtbag, but he did go in on his days off!
    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    16 May 2010 04:25 PM
    Yeah, I gotta say on this one you are completely wrong. My son has gone in on several days off, including just this last week & tomorrow. Even though it is his stand down days, they are doing some drills that he doesn't want to miss. He feels they are important & although not told to be there, not expected to be there, he is going anyway.

    To assume he acts like a dirtbag is a gross misconception as to why Coasties chose to go in on their days off. I am sure even if only a few say it, most will take great exception to your comment.


    Proud mom of
    SN Robertson, Colin
    USCGC Seneca

    <!-- Edit -->

    Last Edited : 5/16/2010 9:33:44 AM GMT

    Sector NY, Staten Island
    luvmycoastieUser is Offline
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    16 May 2010 07:40 PM
    I have to chime in too, my son has gone in many time on his day off. Once as they had to do a physical training test, also because there captain was being replaced, I can tell you he is neither a slacker or Dirt bag if he was he would not have got qualified a month earlier than expected so that comment was way out of line.. I suggest next time use different wording !!


    Julie Proud Mom to
    Danny
    Coast Guard Sector Detroit.

    ltateUser is Offline
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    ltate

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    16 May 2010 08:02 PM
    I would never presume to speak for Ian because I don't know him but I didn't get the impression that he was referring to anyone specifically when he brought up the comments so I don't see why people are getting so defensive about it. Good for ya'll if your kids want to work on their days off, that's cool. My kids worked hard enough as it is when they were required to be there so when a day off rolled around and they didn't absolutely, positively have to be on their cutters, they were long gone.

    Laurie


     

    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    16 May 2010 08:25 PM
    My son works plenty hard on his on days, he plays plenty hard on his off days. But if he wants to go in on his off days & participate in drills or to look over that fire system for his drawings or whatever else he decides to take on as extra, he does it. He also plans on this being a career for life. He isn't a 4 & out, good enough for a resume guy. He is a Coast Guardman & plans on staying such for quite a long time.


    Proud mom of
    SN Robertson, Colin
    USCGC Seneca

    Sector NY, Staten Island
    ltateUser is Offline
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    ltate

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    16 May 2010 10:19 PM
    Well, my kids enlisted with the intention of making the CG a career, too, but after a couple of years, the bs got to be too much for them and they changed their minds. It's different for girls, though, but you wouldn't know anything about that. And I had no idea just doing the four years was a bad thing. That would be news to my daughters. Gosh, I hope there is somebody out there who appreciates their service and doesn't think they just joined to spruce up a resume. Of all people, I would think you would be more appreciative of someone's sacrifice than that. Wow.

    To the original poster, sorry this got off track. Hopefully, more wives or girlfriends will be along to help you out if you need more info. Good luck to you and your husband!

    Laurie


     

    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    16 May 2010 11:27 PM
    I never said there was anything wrong with 4 & out. If that's all you want to do, do it. But to call someone a dirtbag is unacceptable. To say when its time off I'm outta here... I don't know, I think that isn't so acceptable either as an attitude. Like I said in my post, there is some special drilling going on, Colin is on gally duty right now. He worked this weekend. Thursday was his day off, no blue suit day, he put it on & was on the ship to participate & see how the drills played out, what his role might be. They are doing an additional one tomorrow and although its his day off, he will be back on the ship in the morning. Again, not required to be, desires to be there.

    As far as seeing the bs... there is plenty for the guys, too. Girls are not singled out for crap dished out. You also have no idea what my profession is or was... I was in a very male dominated industry for quite a few years & I took a lot of crap from men. I liked what I was doing so I tolerated it and proved them wrong that a woman could do the job. The company I worked for was miserable so I left but I reentered another male dominant industry. So please do not assume to know what I understand and what I don't.

    Also, OP, sorry for getting this off track however it sort of isn't either... if your hubby has to go in for a few off days to complete his quals or do some extra training or just to participate in something he isn't necessarily required to do... doesn't mean he is lazy or a dirtball. It means he is fulfilling something inside of himself to be the best that he wants to be.


    Proud mom of
    SN Robertson, Colin
    USCGC Seneca

    Sector NY, Staten Island
    kmacUser is Offline
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    kmac

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    17 May 2010 04:23 PM
    My husband is at a station, we are in Florida. The first few weeks were tough he did go in on some of his days off but not all of them. After those first few weeks though he did finally get to start enjoying the liberty days just like everyone else. It is hard at first but then again from their side of it its great because he will be qualified alot quicker then the time allowed. Plus with transfer season, the station is actually losing quite a bit of people. my hubby is an MK3, and they are losing a good amount of mks so they needed him to be qualified as soon as possible. Youll get used to it!!!! Just remember to keep yourself busy. Im sure youll do just fine!!! To give you an example of his work schedule its kinda of similiar to a fire fighters. He works 2 on 2 off with rotating weekends. Best of luck to you!


    Krissy
    Proud Wife to Thomas McLendon
    MK A School Yorktown VA
    Graduation Jan 29th!
    Boot Camp- Charlie 182 07/28/09-09/18/09

    Krissy
    Proud Wife to Thomas McLendon
    MK A School Yorktown VA
    Graduation Jan 29th!
    Boot Camp- Charlie 182 07/28/09-09/18/09
    AET2bKnbbUser is Offline
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    AET2bKnbb

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    17 May 2010 05:02 PM
    Are the 2 on 2 off a full 24 hrs or is it 8 hrs?


    The proud wife of:
    SR Fisch
    Foxtrot 183

    You are only as strong as you appear to be
    GearsUser is Offline
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    Gears

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    17 May 2010 06:36 PM
    Full 48 hours during the week, 72 hours on the weekend.


    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

    - Mark Twain

    “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee
    lan56User is Offline
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    lan56

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    17 May 2010 08:58 PM
    I actually wasn't calling anybody a dirtbag, nor did I mean going in on your days off is a dirtbag thing. I was actually referring to being told, "You need to stay behind--you just aren't showing ambition on your duty days" instead of "Good for you...you are getting extra work done on your day off!" That's why I said, "nobody will be *MAKING YOU* [by strict disciplinary force] go in on your days off."

    See the difference?

    And I'm also a 4 and out but I love the Coast Guard...<!-- Edit -->

    Last Edited : 5/17/2010 8:59:14 PM GMT

    kmacUser is Offline
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    kmac

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    18 May 2010 01:09 PM
    yup full 24 hours and then full 72 hours on weekends, so he gets back home on mondays


    Krissy
    Proud Wife to Thomas McLendon
    MK A School Yorktown VA
    Graduation Jan 29th!
    Boot Camp- Charlie 182 07/28/09-09/18/09

    Krissy
    Proud Wife to Thomas McLendon
    MK A School Yorktown VA
    Graduation Jan 29th!
    Boot Camp- Charlie 182 07/28/09-09/18/09
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