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Please help us set a wedding date!
Last Post 16 May 2010 10:40 AM by husband. 7 Replies.
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Ken & EmilyUser is Offline
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Ken & Emily

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15 May 2010 07:39 PM
    I ship off for Basic Training Aug 10. My fiance and I are attempting to plan a wedding for November 5, but are unsure if I will be able to ask for that time off. How will things work once I have graduated? How would I ask for time off and is 4 weeks after basic training to soon to ask for leave? Please help! We have some idea of how things will work in the military, but not enough knowledge to plan our dream wedding. Any help is greatly appreciated!

    Ken & Emily
    pepperdoggieUser is Offline
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    pepperdoggie

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    15 May 2010 08:12 PM
    Others will be along soon to offer advice, but 4 weeks after boot camp is NOT a good time to be asking for time off. This will be a very busy and critical time for you. You will be working on your qualifications etc. The first few months are critical to your development and advancement...not to mention that you could very well be underway on a Cutter to who knows where. Have you considered getting married prior to boot camp? There are many advantages to doing so, including having your wife covered with benefits, moving expenses, etc......

    That's my .02.....good luck.


    MSTWNABUser is Offline
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    MSTWNAB

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    15 May 2010 08:15 PM
    In my opinion, get married before boot camp. Right now you have absolutely no idea of where you are going to be stationed out of boot camp. You could go to one place and it wouldn't be a problem to ask for leave (granted you will only have a 2.5 days accrued by then though) or you could immediately be sent to a 378 and be out at sea for 4 months and be half way around the world come November 5th. You never know.
    If you get married before boot you can plan accordingly, do the honeymoon thing when/if you want, and also get BAH for your spouse while you are at boot camp. Plus your spouse will be covered by Tricare while you are in boot just in case any medical issues arise.
    Just my $0.02...
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    MSTWNABUser is Offline
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    MSTWNAB

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    15 May 2010 08:16 PM
    lol I like your thinking pepper!
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    Old Guard2User is Offline
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    Old Guard2

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    15 May 2010 08:47 PM
    I have to agree... strike while the iron is hot & make the plunge now while there is no one to deny your leave or tell you "son, we ship 2 days before that, not going to happen." You can just do a small civil ceremony for right now & on your first anniversary you can have your dream re-wedding & reception & party!

    Anyway a dream wedding... that's standing next to the person you love more than life itself. If that happend to be in a white dress & tuxedo with champagne toasts or blue jeans with matching t-shirts & a splitting a pizza... a dream is what you make it. So long as the bride & groom are smiling, its a dream come true.

    I wish you all the best! But really think about planning your wedding for much sooner than anticipated.


    Proud mom of
    SN Robertson, Colin
    USCGC Seneca

    Sector NY, Staten Island
    captkyguyUser is Offline
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    captkyguy

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    15 May 2010 10:27 PM
    Not much one can add here, great advice given...

    If you are absolutely sure you are going to marry your best friend, not someone you like or even like a lot but your best friend, then it needs to be before boot camp! If not your best friend then I would wait long after November to see how things play out for you...either way is a good sound choice.

    I have a fire recruit who was just coming to the end of the academy training 3 months hired, I have been advising everyone in the academy about earning their right of passage, about having to make sacrifices for that right by working hard being there doing the nasty dirty stuff without complaint, he had the gall and the expectations to ask me for time off in September, so he could get married. Without even taking a breath the answer was NO! I informed him that he was a rookie and that he was going to have 2 weeks off in June (a rare thing to have any summer days off without several years of service in) that he could get married then. He was actually appalled about this and advised me that was not enough time to plan a wedding, that I was married and should know this and then asked again...Trust me, the kid will never work at my station and will be transferred from every station he gets assigned too at every opportunity, as he is not willing to earn his right of passage but expects it to be given...I repeated that he will have two weeks off in June and/or an opportunity to pick 11 holidays/vacation days for sometime in 2011. Too my astonishment he again asked for September and stated that since it was for a wedding we surely could understand...I understood something...I repeated the two weeks in June or the 2011 option and dismissed him from my office before I blew a gasket.

    Please do not be the guy above...adjust your date either before or way after boot camp because true love, with your best friend, will not have any problems with that.

    My .02 cents

    I wish you all of the best

    I married my best friend on July 15, 1983, just a few weeks out of high school and still today we are best of friends and love each other, most of the time that is...lol...we had kids :-)


    Kyle

     

    In his life changing name God Bless!

    <!-- Edit -->

    Last Edited : 5/15/2010 7:49:25 PM GMT

    I want to finally set it free, So show me how to see what Your mercy sees, Help me now to give what You gave to me...Forgiveness, Forgiveness
    luvmycoastieUser is Offline
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    luvmycoastie

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    16 May 2010 03:01 AM
    If i was you i would get married before even if its at city hall. It may not be the wedding you want at the moment but once you are done with basic and you get settled you can always redo the wedding at a later date. I know that is not what you may not be want but at least you will know you are married and that s the main thing.
    My son has been at his 1st station for 6 months and he still can not and would not dream of asking for any time off as he knows it would be a NO and plus it would look Bad on him.


    Julie Proud Mom to
    Danny
    Coast Guard Sector Detroit.

    husbandUser is Offline
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    husband

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    16 May 2010 10:40 AM
    Get married before boot camp.  you're eligible for Family Seperation Allowance, and BAH (i believe, not 100% sure on that).  Either way, it'll be eaiser to get married before than after. 

    You'll get more money for your move to your new station as well.

    Just a thought...



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