Thank You !!  Deep inside, I know all that you have said is true.. getting from where I am to where you are is going to be a journey.. A new normal- that's a good description.  I am comforted by the things I am reading, and by positive posts about the Coast Guard itself.  I appreciate your encouragement more than you can know.  You are speaking from experience and that is the best counsel.. Thank you.

No problem; whenever I REALLY miss my son, all I have to do is look out my car window as I head downtown and see someone who graduated with him ....hanging out with a skateboard instead of a job! I don't know any other 19 yr old that's doing what he does--his own car, apt, work, handling his own bills and laundry and taking classes online when he's off---and it really gives me perspective on the alternative! A 'failure to launch' scenario in my living room would fail to amuse after a while ;D

Oh I agree KD so much! I watched my son, sit in my house, earn a pittance of a paycheck as a waiter and spend the majority of his days playing "World of Warcraft"!! If I got told at dinner time one more time "Mom, just make me a plate I have a thing!" I swear he was going to EAT THAT PLATE! Then one day he worked a double at his restaurant... he came home and I just casually asked so how was your night? He said "I made 7"... I looked at him and said "DOLLARS??????" he was at work for 9 hours! I would have paid him more than that to change the sheets on my bed! I told him he was going to be with me until he died with no future, no prospects, no life... seven dollars a day was not going to afford him anything more than a big gulp at 7-11. That was when he finally said "Can you take me to the recruiters?" I threw his skinny butt in the car and sped off to Dallas with him! I swore I felt like a groupie... I was willing to sleep in the parking lot that night so we were first in line in the morning! LOL

Now... He "drives" a 270' cutter for the United States Coast Guard, he earns a fabulous paycheck, he has excellent medical benefits, he pays his one and only bill and he has seen so much of this world already in 3 years... I can't imagine how much more he will see in the next 20! He has matured to the point I think he is more mature than me! Do I miss him??? Like crazy I miss him. I told everyone at work today, he is underway right now but the ship should be making a port call... If my cell phone rings, I don't care where I am or what I'm doing... I'm stopping to talk to my baby!!! So it isn't easy but it sure is a lot easier than sitting there watching him do nothing with himself! That was hard to witness and getting really old to be living with!!

Thank You Ladies... Really !!! I had to re-register, but that's me you are encouraging. I am so glad you both have revisited the site. It really helps.. I have watched my son struggle, also. He has his own apartment and has worked for peanuts in the food industry. He has experienced stress- stress that he never had at home- so maybe this transition period will help him cope with some of the bc stress (though I doubt anything could truly prepare him for that). As I read your testimonies, I begin to feel better; something I did not think I could do. Thanks to you, I have a more positive outlook (as long as I don't "dwell" on his absence) I will endeavor to take a look at some of his friends and peers- that is sure to make me feel an immense sense of relief- good point !! well placed and very well taken. KD and Old Guard- thank you. I needed that.

Don't stress, don't dwell....just keep moving ahead. He's not going to be overwhelmed with boot camp as long as he's prepared. If he's in really good shape before he gets there and studies what the recruiter tells him, he'll do fine. Part of the secret is never taking it personally; it's all for a reason, even the stuff that in the moment seems unjust or mean or pointless. The military services have been reshaping young men and women longer than anyone and they're really, really good at it. You will get a couple of unhappy letters; don't get down there with him. Just stay encouraging and focused. The letters will get better. Same when he gets out of boot camp; he thinks he knows what it will be like, but there's no way to get it across. Often it's different than they expect, and there's some adjustment that's hard on them, and hard to watch--but that won't last forever either. It's all part of the process, and it will work out.
What rate (specialty) does your son think he may be interested in? Does he have a ship date?

He is interested in maritime law - ships the end of February. I have been telling him not to take it personally...think Forrest Gump !!! He is in really good shape- works out, runs, and swims like a fish; he has been studying the helmsman. I can't prepare him for the yelling and humiliation- except...don't take it personally. I have repeated many things that all of you are saying; we talked for a long time today and even read some of the posts. He knows there is no way around the nightmarish aspect- his recruiter even told him it was harsh.. I told him tonight that all he can do is focus on what he must do and do the best he can; the rest will work itself out. It is the unknown and that is always worse in most cases. However, I think the reality of bc is worse. It won't last forever..Thank you for that. I will try not to stress or dwell Thank you for the encouragement and the kick in the pants..

I think nightmarish is probably too strong a word, Delta64 I am sure your son will have some time when he is wondering what the...well, what on earth he was thinking. But he will do just fine, and take pride in it! Getting yelled at isn't the worst thing ever; even being called out for something, or extra PT or going without sleep--they are all just things for conditioning and training, really. And if he IS prepared? And really fit and squared away...? Well, I'll tell you what: toward the end of boot, there were even some times when my son says he got bored. The stress reduces with each new skillset they master, and their confidence grows with each one. Don't freak yourself out imagining how badly things will go for him! He's not doing anything that thousands before him haven't done successfully. You know your son is just as capable as they were, if not more so, right? Of course! Again, if you want a private place to chat with other CG moms, and you have a FB page, find USCG Moms and request to join. There are more than 500 of us on that page--including OldGuard2 (who also belongs to Blue Star Mothers) who have been, or are, where you are.
This forum is, I think, the best place for access to straight shooting good info. If you want more company and chat, or a little handholding (ok, and sometimes a very gentle kick in the britches) look up that page and join us. Any CG mom is welcome.

I have sent a request to join the fb group, and i sent a message to one of the admins like it said...i myself have a 18 year old son who left Jan 10th for boot camp...at first I thought my chest was gonna burst open from the emotions, but i am finding that everyday is getting better, somewhat...i had a hard day today, because this is the longest i have EVER been away from him....yeah i know, sounds crazy but true, and believe me, im not one of those overly protective parents, but this has completely changed me. I am so very proud of the decision he has made, and like the earlier posts, my son had to wait 8 months to get in due to the military lock or whatever happened awhile ago. It was a long 8 months of him working part time as a lifeguard at our town pool, and him keeping horrible hours, and complaining of being bored all the time. He graduated High School in May, and was supposed to leavr in June, when he was still 17....well in Aug he turned 18, and still had to wait...i counted the days until he finally had to leave, and i actually stayed at the same motel for one night, because he had to stay 2 to process...i left him the next day, and he stayed another night...i cried for the whole ride home which was 1 1/2 hours...but reading the above posts i agree with the kids that dont do anything, and are taking classes here and there...i feel this is the best for him, and it will be a new normal for me....i am ready to embrace this.....( I think)...

Welcome to the family, ggirlnm! It almost seems like yesterday that I was in your shoes, leaving my son at a hotel to ship out the next day to boot camp! Next month it will be 2 years ago. The next 8 weeks will be hard for you, but the weeks will fly. It's difficult to send our kids off to do something you know will be extremely hard, and not be able to help them through it. But you can write to your son. Keep your letters upbeat and encouraging. You will get a form letter or post card in about a week. It'll be good just to see his writing, even if it's not a letter. Then you'll get a call in week 5 informing you of where he will be stationed. After that, in week 6, he will get on-base liberty where he will be able to call you. Then in week 7 he will get off-base liberty and you'll spend all day on the phone with him. Look forward to these little 'treats' as they come. Pretty soon you'll be a a crying mess trying to snap pictures at his graduation through teary eyes. You CAN do this. Oh, and don't forget to look for the weekly journals that start in week 3. http://www.tracencapemay.uscgnews.c...763/476815

Thank you so much...I cannot tell you how happy i am with all the support ive been getting between here and the face book pages...wow, its amazing! Im going into week 2..haha...long way to go...thatnks again for all the info...

I am a coastie mom going on 10 years now and I can tell you that as a parent you never stop worrying. But, having said that I also know that your child has joined the best service in the military. Very tight knit and wonderful people. It really is one large family. The days will drag by for you but the weeks will fly. Before you know it, you will be half way there and then week 5 hits and you get your first phone call and you will be busy arranging to attend graduation. I can tell you that your child is fine. They are eating well, and I hear the food is good! They are making some amazing new friends and some of those will be life long. They are doing and experiencing things they never thought they would be able to do. Their confidence and leadership is growing every day. They are sleeping well and staying super busy. I can also tell you that they miss you more than they ever thought they would. Suddenly mom and dad become incredibly important to them and they begin to realize the sacrifices you have made for them their entire lives and they are very grateful. Bootcamp is an amazing time of growth. The recruits leave their "self centered" lifestyle behind and they move into the team focused lifestyle of the Coast Guard. It is a painful process. Everything they have known in life is stripped away and replaced with regulations, routine, procedures, and these commanders yelling in their face. But they stand tall, they work together, they fall together and they rise together. And the day they graduate is one of the proudest of their lives. They have entered a life of saving others, of protecting our country. Their career has an incredible purpose.
My son is one of those company commanders. When I go to a graduation for one of his companies I am as fiercely proud of him as the day he graduated from bootcamp. The Coast Guard is very very good at turning out amazing young men and women in uniform.

Write as often as you can. Definitely join the facebook pages. You can find the main page at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnm...andfamily/ They can lead you to the company page where your child is spending their 8 weeks. It is a wonderful journey. One of heartbreak and pride for parents as we watch our children soar to heights we only dreamed of. You raised them well. To be strong and independent and capable of anything. THAT is why they joined the Coast Guard and THAT is why the Coast Guard chose them. Bring lots of tissue to graduation. You will need it.

Hello I found this forum because my oldest daughter has just receive her ship date. I spent 5 years as a coastie AT2, think its an AET today, had one of the best times of my life. Only got out to go to college, internet not invented yet. Currently at the top of my field working at a job I learned in the CG. Believe I would have been successful at any field due to the values entrenched by the CG. Thanks CG.
Full of emotion; delighted, afraid, sad, happy and worried. I know she will do well and she will be in the best possible hands but, very well remember the day I got off that bus at BC. Thought it was the biggest mistake I ever made. That feeling dissipates as you transform from a self centered kid to well adjusted competent adult. In a few years she will be leaps and bounds ahead of the friends she is leaving behind. The friends they meet and values they learn in the next few years will carry them for life.
They also appreciate their family more than ever.
Feels like yesterday she got on that kindergarten bus and never looked back, she is about to get on another bus.......Proud CG Dad

btb, welcome aboard. It's always nice to have another Coastie on our forum. I remember when my fiance got on the bus to Cape May and 23 years later, my son did the same thing. That was a completely different set of emotions putting my son on that bus. But in the almost 3 years he has been in the CG, he has matured into a man I never imagined. You are right, the CG does an amazing job with these young men and women. I'm proud to be both the the ex-wife of a fantastic Coastie and the mom of a fantastic Coastie. I couldn't be more proud of either of them.

Best of luck to your daughter. What years were you in? Where were you stationed? Maybe we chewed a little of the same dirt at some time.